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What Could Have Been Her Life Today

 

She sits sadly and thinks about what her life could have been if she had never met him. What could have been my life today if I had not spoken the truth?
She thinks, “My life could be full of dreams and desires today if I had not met him. In my thoughts, I could be climbing the mountains, walking on the fire, or swimming the ocean to meet my love.
The desire for a meeting with him could have still inside of me. I could still have faith and trust in others. I still could have a hope to live. I still could have eagerness inside of me. Nobody could have humiliated me. I could have still been living in my cave with pride and confidence. I could have respect and faith in the justice system of my native country. I could not be suffering like this today. My life could have been boring but not painful, though. My tears still could have been inside of my eyes. I never had a large family, but at least I still could have been talking to my cousin and sister”.

She sighs, “Yes, I still could have been on my job. Everybody could have counted on my reliability and credibility. I could have a successful professional life. I still could have respect for others. I could not have a paranoid personality. The experience could have been annoying but painless. Boring life could have been better than a painful life. I could not have asked many questions from Almighty. Nobody could have insulted me, and I never should have offended anybody. My soul could have searched for another part of my soul, which should still be alive. My soul could not have been wounded. The restless soul could be better than the wounded and dying soul. I still could have desires, hopes, and dreams. I might have met somebody else who could have been a better person than him. He could not have abandoned me. Today, I could not have been writing on the blog. I could have been living in the dark that the world out there was so lovely. Sometimes the darkness is better than the light. Sometimes, the hidden truth is much better than the revealed truth. I could have been unsatisfied, but at least not like a wounded soul. I may have continued to search for him. I should have not ripping my own heart out.

I could have been injury-free today. My head and heart could not have broken. My spine could have been healthy without any fractures. I can not be taking blood pressure medicine or any other medication. Many years I had spent him could still be there. I could be living in the truth. I was the woman full of confidence, but the lies and cowardliness of the man have broken everything.
How about if I had not spoken the truth. He still could have been with me. I already could have been married to him. He will always be the love of my life. He could have been still in love with me more than anything on earth. He may have been spending all the time talking to me. I could have been lucky about being a love f his life. I could have so proud of him. He could have been the hero and bravo of my life. He could have still been my pride. People always could be saying, “the perfect couple made for each other.” He still could have sworn on my head by saying that I can’t live without you. The home my man had built it for me could be my home instead of turning into my grave. I could have been the happiest woman on earth. I could have been writing or talking to him instead of writing a blog. My soul could have been pleased and satisfied. I could have been the luckiest woman on earth. Two bodies, but the soul could have been still one. I still could have been excited to do things for him. I could have been making a “to-do-list’ for him. I could have been the luckiest woman on this planet.

How about if I had been brought the truth forward, and my man had the guts to take responsibility for his actions. My life still could have been happiest. I could have more proud of him. I will feel that I have spoken the truth, and he had shown his bravery and had told the world that, “I love her. She is part of my life”.

The fire of humiliation and insult could have been contained inside of the walls. Nobody could know about me. I could have been happy to just communicating with him on the email. I could not have been crying and ripping my soul out of my body. I could be the most loving and luckiest woman on this earth. I could have been telling everybody that there is humanity still lives. His action of bravery could have been saved my life. I could have been sitting to have fun with my kids. He will always be my entire world. Nobody could have guts to make me like a puppet and use me as a weapon. Nobody could have the courage to insult me. Nobody could have the courage to point a finger on me. I could not have been missing my father and Abu. I could not have been an orphan today. I could not have been judging anybody, and nobody could have been going to judge me. I could still have been a woman hiding in her cave. I could have been going to visit my childhood place.
I could not have been disturbing anybody. He was my world, and my world could have been alive today.
However, it had depended only on the bravery of a man. He could have been still saying,” you are the love of my life. I will never leave you at any circumstances. I had not been searching for him everywhere. He was not supposed to hide from me. He could have been a man full of pride. He could have been a real Muslim, which he lost after abandoning his life and wife. He could be a real warrior or Pathan. Quran says,” The real man doesn’t give tears to a woman. The woman is the reasonability of her man”. He is not real Pathan or Muslim now. My life could have been happy. Everybody could be satisfied. I could not have been confused with many questions. I could not have been searching for many answers, such as why and how.” I will not have been asking who I. My trust and beliefs could not have been shattered.

No More Khan Tribe: Sara Prays to Allah

 

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I don’t know how to do the prayer for you. Abu never taught me how to pray. I observed his prayers and even asked him to teach me. But,  he always ignored me that I honestly don’t know why. Almighty, my Abu, was a real Khan and Pathan. He knew well that he would not be able to protect me, so he honored the pride of a woman. He respected the honor of a woman. He was a real Pathan and Muslim. I had started to believe in Islam at a young age.
I did not know what is the difference between the religions or faith was. I did what I was told to do it as a little girl.
Dear Allah, it is not a matter of my love for him. It is a matter of my belief in Islam and Allah. I had lived in my cave of isolation for decades. I came out of my cave, and I met the love of my life. I do love him from the bottom of my heart. There is nothing else. It is just soul to soul love and nothing else. I am willing to return to hell or heaven if you will decide it for me or if you think I am wrong. I am a human who makes mistakes. I had made my mistakes to bring the truth forward. Now, I am being punished for that mistake.
I have lost my desire to live. I am just here waiting for you to call me back. I will go wherever you want me to go, but please keep me away from the Khan tribe. The reason is apparent. One khan has not protected my pride and love. Now, I don’t ask him to defend me or save me. I ask directly from you to protect the woman who always has a firm belief in you. I swear to you that I don’t need anything else. I just need the love of my man who has abandoned me. Call me back in hell or heaven if you cannot believe in me. Right now, I live a life worse than hell without him.
Dear almighty, I swear to you and my Babaji that I am done with this life. However, I can not abandon my duties of being a mother. Otherwise, I don’t have the desire to live. I could have ended my life. I want you to make me free of the responsibility of the mother and call me back. I am tired of asking your man now. I am asking directly from you. I want you to give me justice. People won’t believe you if you fail to provide the judgment for your daughter.
I won’t ask you why you have created feelings in me, why you have sent a man who was not able to protect your believer. Are you a fake? Are you Almighty? I am tired of deciding it. Now, it is your turn to show the truth.
My dear almighty, why you have sent the man who could not take the responsibility of being a man. Why do I have to fight? Why does my loving and trustable man has gone away from his duties? I am asking directly from you. I am not begging a human to give me justice. I am asking directly from you to end my suffering. It does not matter who I am. It does matter what your righteousness is.
I came out of the cave, and he was waiting for me. He should have told me right away that he does not love me. He should not give me a dream. He should not have created desires and ideas inside of me. You are also responsible for this. You knew that he could hurt me. He could fail to fulfill the responsibility of being a man and Khan.
Don’t you know my brutal ill past? Did I forget to tell him about my brutal ill past? No, I had told him, but he still abandoned me. I am asking you today. Why he left me? Why he took responsibility which he could not do it. Are you failed, or he failed you? I am asking this question directly from you being a vulnerable woman who trusts you. Why have you not sent someone else than him? Why you had not sent the different person to hold my hand instead of him when I came out of my cave of isolation.
Don’t you agree if he had not met me? I could be happy with somebody else. It is your fault, Allah. I am sorry for being straightforward and blunt. However, I am born this way. I am raised this way. My Abu had told me to trust Allah and I did it. Now, it is your turn to prove the truth.
I swear to Allah and Babaji both that I need to stay away from Khan tribe. It was not my fault to love the man. It is your fault that has created a love for him in my mind. The human could have options or choices and errors to make but you cannot do it. why you have created a trust in me? why you have made me believe you if you had not enough power to protect your believer.

I want you to pay attention to my prayer today. I want you to have a few seconds to think about me. Tell me what I had done wrong. The person who used me as a puppet is happy and making fun of me, “you could not do it. Almighty always listened to a con artist, but refused to listen not a woman who wants to sacrifice everything for love”.
I am not a woman of pride. I am a woman who believes in Islam, but I always get treatment of being an outsider. May I ask why? Why are your doors are closed on this orphan? Why are you quiet? I need an answer now. What is my fault that I love someone from the bottom of my heart? Does this is not approved in a Khan tribe or your kingdom? I am not sure who I should blame. So I always ended up blaming myself.

I hope that you have a few minutes to believe in my soul.

your child

Sara Munna

 

The Connection

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She was denied the job that she had applied for two weeks ago. It was not rejected because of her qualifications. It was dismissed because the CEO did not approve of this position yet. She was disappointed not to get the job. The medical director was reasonable, “I am sorry. It is not $10/hr, which the company could adjust. I don’t have a question mark on your ability, but I cannot hire you until I get approval from the CEO”.
She could not tell the medical director, “A-hole, why you wasted my time to call for an interview without the approval of CEO”
Half an hour later, the recruiter called her,” Oh, I am sorry. I don’t know how it slipped out of mind that the vice president and CEO did not finalize a new position yet”.

Should she break their heads? No, so she told them gently, “No problem, I can understand it. I applied for the job because the commute is convenient for me”.
Now, she needed to ventilate her feelings. She doesn’t like keeping anything in her mind. She does not want to add more stress or stuff in her already pre-occupied brain. She thoughts, “My brain and heart are already full of his lies. He lives inside of brain and heart, which won’t leave me alone for a second”.
Therefore, she emailed her mentor boss and expressed all her anger in the email, “Both my personal and professional life going toward the hell zone. I could not save both. At least I should happy in one area”.
A half-an-hour later, she saw three missed calls from the medical director, the vice president of the company, and the recruiter. She was surprised, “why do they care calling now.”
The medical director was so delighted to offer her a new position. She is surprised what the hell happened in the last 30 minutes that the CEO has approved the new job.
However, the director could not hide his happiness, so he announced,” We have received a high referral. I did not know that you have a connection at the top place.”
She understood right away, but she answered politely, “I am so happy to hear this. I apologize that I can’t accept this position because I just gave my word to another company”.
Now, it might be a director’s turn to think, “who the hell give you a job in 30 minutes?”. However, it was not her concern. She emailed her mentor and stated, “Thank you for everything for keeping my professional life alive. Thanks for being connecting the dots in the mid-west while sitting somewhere on the East coast”.
However, she could not write to him, “I wish that you were also available and powerful to connect the dots of my personal life too. I might be sitting happily today”.
It makes her think about how connections, sources, and relationships are essential in people’s life. Sometimes, a person doesn’t need an appropriate qualification or quote to get specific jobs. Sometimes, a person does not require the qualities of being the right person or an honest person or a loving person to have a good personal life. It comes with a package deal of good karma. what her love and feelings would do standing solo in the middle of a crowd where everything is on the sale.

A dream in the countryside of Europe

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She is somewhere in the countryside of Europe. The country is unknown, which she doesn’t care about. She is in the farmhouse. The owner of the farmhouse is the father of her colleague. The colleague was apparent to her before her plane departure, “my father is an old man. He cannot drive you anywhere. You can live there as much as you want”.

She told her colleague,” I don’t like going to a big city. I will be walking around the farmhouse, so I don’t need a driver.”

She looks at the surrounding of the farmhouse. There is a small cabin. She slowly walks toward the cabin.

She laughs as she enters the cabin,” dame, it is a bathroom. I should take a nice bath.”

She sits in the bathtub to relax. Ina boy knocks at the door, “Mommy, open the door. My father is here. He looks kind of sad”. She opens the door to the boy,” seriously, are you following me here too. Where is Banny?”

Ina boy hands clothes to her,” hurry up. Dress up. My father needs you. Banny has refused to come because of my father”.

She starts to dress up while talking to Ina, “yes, they cannot stand each other. Both your father and Banny was tolerating each other just because of me. Your father doesn’t need me. He is living happily without me”.

Ina pushes her out of the bath cottage. She walks toward another cabin alone. She looks inside the room that the man with a sad face is lying on the bed. She enters his room and locks the door behind. They look at each other but have not shared a single word. She lies next to him and keeps her head on his chest. He just massages her hair without saying a single word.

Suddenly, the man said, “lets us go somewhere.”

He starts walking in front of them. Both Ina and he starts following the man.

He asks her, “do you want to eat something”. She turns toward Ina, “are you hungry, my cutie pie”. She rubs the boy’s cheeks with her two fingers. Ina says, “no, I just ate some food”. She tells the man, “No”. the man asks her,” I am asking if you have eaten anything”.

She doesn’t respond but continues to follow him. Suddenly the man stops,” I need to go now. My time is up”. She starts to cry, “no, bubby, don’t leave. I need you. I can’t live without you”. She tries to see his passport to see the visa expiration date. He tries to take the passport away from her hand, “no, I don’t expect this one from you. I want you to trust me”. She gives his passport back to him without looking at it. He starts to walk away from them. The tears come into her eyes. Ina hugs her softly, “don’t cry. I am here,”.

Both have gone back to the farmhouse again. Suddenly, a strange woman runs toward her to tell that, “your man is back. He doesn’t look good. He looks sick. He seems like dying”.

She and the boy run toward the direction which a strange woman has told them. She looks at him from a distance. He signs something and tries to give to her colleague’s father, “this is for my Munna”.

He starts walking with a group of people. The strange woman tells her again, “stop him, he is walking with the wrong people. He is in danger”.

She runs toward him, but he has gone. She looks backward. She sees Ina walking away. She screams,” do not go away. I need you.”

She woke up crying on her bed. She is in her safe zone, not in Europe. It is 3 am in the morning. She closes her eyes again. She is tired. She has been not feeling physically well for the last couple of days. She feels tired and fatigue. Lately, she wakes up every 2 hrs. She wakes up suddenly like someone tries to push her when she tries to sleep.

She went to sleep again.

Suddenly, she feels that he touches her right hand and try to massage it with his two fingers. She feels as it is real. Her pain eases up with the massage. She wakes up again. She looks at her both hands. She feels pain on both hands. The right hand is swollen more than the left.
Rest has happened in the dream except pain and swelling in her hands. She drove her car for 5 hrs, which may have caused the pain and puffiness in her hands.

She laughs. It is just a connection that comes like a dream. The injured brain and spine need steroids frequently, which making her bone fragile. This is the reason for her swelling and pain, which more exacerbated with a long-distance drive. There is a connection. She smiles.

She is not sleeping while writing. Her brain thinks so fast,” he couldn’t face reality, which is already written somewhere. I wonder why? Now, he is caged entirely. Why is fear now? He looks happy. He should enjoy his life. Why you come into my dream now? We have a different path, but the soul is still together. People say it is a long time now, so I should move forward. People don’t know that I had waited for you enough before we even met. I will always be waiting for you.”

She laughs and smiles with everybody. She tries to engage herself on social media. She spends her time watching funny shows. However, her spirit is continued to die. Inside, she feels so sad and empty. She feels alone in the crowd. She doesn’t try to wake up his soul either. Sometimes, she calls his soul while she is in a lot of pain. She tells him, “I need you. I am hurting,”. He is deaf and cannot hear her. She is stubborn to wait for him. Same tears and the same stories for others, but her world is continued to end without him. The light of the lamp dies without the fuel. The spirt of her soul is continued to die without him. It is a connection of souls which are separated by the karma or people. She will wait until the cycle of the next life begins. Maybe he would suffer, and she will act as a mean person in the next life. She will ignore his cry. She will ignore his love and feelings.
She acquired this life from him which is a gift from him. She will continue to live this life. Her suffering is a punishment for him and it is a sign of his weakness.

 

Again, A New Game !!!!

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You can find mean and con people everywhere. You don’t have to work hard finding them. They will come to you spontaneously. They are either fools or selfish or cons. She says,” someone doesn’t stop playing the game. He just silent and let people play with my emotions. Can he just stop those games? How long he will sit and watch? Isn’t she already suffering? Have he lost his courage stopping the game?”

She thinks,” I don’t disturb anybody. I even don’t talk to anybody. I am hardly taking care of myself. I just write. I write my feelings because I have nobody left to speak with whom I can talk. People want to speak to me, but I refuse. Is it my fault? I am afraid of communicating with others. I am so scared to trust someone”.

She doesn’t get angry. She just cries when she loses something. She doesn’t know how to play games. She does not like to keep the gun on someone’s shoulder to push the trigger. She doesn’t like making someone a puppet. Once, she had allowed making herself someone’s puppet to save her love.

She has gone to her cave of isolation after saving her love. She doesn’t act like a fox. She is straightforward and very blunt. She talks about what her mind says. She doesn’t play games. She thinks, “I am sad and depress but not desperate. I love him. He is the first and last. It does not matter that I live close to him or not. I will see him or not. Nobody will take his place. I still remember what he said two days ago before our communication was banned”.

She knows the exact location where he said that.  Every day, she used to go along with him on the same road. Now, she goes alone, but she still feels his presence. He told her that it does not matter if we meet or not meet in this life, but love will remain the same. Our souls will always live together. Nobody could separate our souls.

He has forgotten his words and responsibility. Now, she has taken the responsibility of their love alone, “I will remember for both of us. I will keep our love alive and will take it with me to the grave”.

Both had come to each other’s lives with their desires. Nobody has forced anybody, but someone had forced him to be out of her life. It doesn’t matter what he says or said. But her heart says,” I still feel his love. He can convince others but not me”.

An unknown person has spoken to her the same words, such as soul love and distance. But she loves only one person. She thinks, “Do I have to give someone proof of that. No, I don’t. Nobody can force me. That is my decision”.

She gave the person his phone number and picture to ask for permission. She thinks, “Does it necessary to be mary in a church or court. I am married to his soul. He is alive, so I cannot marry somebody else”.

Sometimes, people don’t see how much a person is suffering. She cries, “I am already in a lot of pain. I cry until going to sleep. I am in pain, both emotionally and physically. Who wants to see me dead? I don’t afraid to die. Who scares of her? I wander alone talking to nature, birds, or animals, or the dead ones. I have marked my boundaries but can’t stop loving him. I could not hate him even he has forgotten me. He left me to suffer, but I am not upset at him. He did what he thought is best for him”.

She often told him, “sometimes, I like to know how much a person can go more down.” She still has the habit of seeing the devil side of another person.

She talks to Almighty, “people are so weird. They have already taken my life away. There is nothing left in me. I live and walk like a dead person. Only my breath is still alive. It is not my fault that I am still alive. I tried multiple times, but you refused to take me, almighty. Even I told him to shoot me, but he said, “Oh, I will never harm you.” There is always a limit to stretch somebody. I have limitations too. Nobody can stop me from writing. I can’t love anybody except for him. The soul connection has not developed overnight. I have not done anything wrong or stole something. I went to build the relationship instead of breaking it. People have seen my weakness but not my strength. Almighty, you have given me power. You are the one who created a love for him inside of me, and I need you now. Bring my love back or take me away forever and make other people happy or teach them a lesson who judges my passion. I want you to punish them who have humiliated my love for him. I don’t need anything else. I don’t ask justice from humans anymore, but I ask justice from you”.

As usual, she deleted the evidence. she doesn’t need to give anybody proof. “I am not here to prove something. I don’t care anymore. I will live with grace and dignity because I have not done anything wrong”.

She talks to almighty,” Do you know one day my bubby will see me and my love through everybody and everything, but it will be too late. Please take care of him. He may have many Sara, but I had only one bubby”.

Meeting with long-gone loved ones

 

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A woman has stood just outside the forest area around 11 pm. It is a dark night, but she is not scared at all. She has come outside to look at something. She looks at the sky, but she could not find any star. The atmosphere is covered with darkness. There is no moon or stars. It makes the night scarier. The woman thinks, “how I would find my loved ones in this darkness. People say the dead people become a star and they always look down at their loved one. I need to talk at least one of them. Have they forgotten me too?”
Suddenly snow starts to fall, but she has not moved an inch from her place. Sometimes, she looks at the sky, and sometimes she looks at the forest. She thinks, “I wish to be a butterfly so I can fly toward the sky to join my loved ones. Or I should be a tiger or a deer to hide in the forest”.

She hears a sound,” That is you, Abu. I know that you would come to visit me. Have you come alone?”
No, I am not Abu. I am your father,” the voice comes closure to her.
The woman gets more excited, and she ran toward her father, “Dad, Dad, you look the same as before” The woman touches her father’s face with her both hands. Her father asks her, “why are you wandering in the dark and cold night? You have to be very careful”.
The woman smiles, but her voice is full of tears, “There is nothing left to lose now. I wish to join you, but I have some responsibility. I have lived the hell of life. I don’t want my kids to live the same life as mine. Why have you left me, father? I always miss you. I try my best to follow your principles”.
The father tells her daughter, “tiger, you have a long life to live. It hurt my feelings when I see you crying. I feel pain when you call for help but nobody comes. I feel helpless because I cannot help you”.
The woman cleans her father’s tears, “Dad, please don’t cry. I cry for everybody. I want you to keep smiling as usual. Chachu won’t’ like it if he sees you crying. Mother will laugh at both of us”.
Father tells her, “I should never have taught you the principle of my life. Those were my principles, but I had forced on you. You could be happy now if I had not taught you those principles. Life was different in my time. The people had the value of words. People were honest. In your time, everything has changed. My principles have failed my daughter”.

The woman hugs her father, “No, dad, your principles have not failed me. It was my love who has failed me. Don’t blame yourself for somebody else’s actions”.
The father gets sadder, “I can’t see you crying. I see you sit alone in the corner and cry every day. I feel helpless. I cannot wipe my daughter’s tears”.
The woman laughs, “I don’t cry, father. I just like competing with rain. I just want to show the rain that my tears pour more water than her. I am happy, father”.
Father asks the girl, “my little girl has started to lie.”
The woman answers her father,” No, dad, you know me that I love competing, so I have chosen the rain.”
Father is not satisfied with his daughter’s answers. He thinks in his mind, “You even cannot lie properly. It is all my fault. I should not have taught you a lesson of honesty. You could be happy now if you just had lied”.
The woman could not hide her emotions anymore. She asks permission from her father, “Dad, Dad, can I hug you? I really need a hug. Nobody hugs me after he is gone from my life”.
The woman attempts to hug her father. She opens her eyes and has found herself hugging herself but no sign of her father there. She finds herself standing alone close to the dark forest. She brings some courage and enters the dark forest. The temperature is in a minus degree, but she has only a tee shirt. She doesn’t have any jacket on. Suddenly she hears some voice as someone has followed her. The sounds are coming close to her. She shouts, “seriously, boys, are you following me everywhere. Come out. Don’t hide”.
Both Banny and Inayat boy come out of the bushes. Both boys say in the same tone, “sorry, we want to meet your loved ones. Your dad seems a great man”.
The woman tells the boys proudly, “yes, he is the greatest father on the planet.”
Ina asks, “You have already met your father. Why you st continue walking into the dark forest, it is not safe there. Many wild animals live there. Don’t you forget that you are so scared of the snake? This is their home too”.
The woman replies while a great smile comes on her face, “Yes, don’t worry. Someone else known as a warrior lives here. He would protect me. Can you guys do one favor for me? Don’t come in front of him. He does not know you. He does not like talking to the stranger. But you can hide into the bushes to see him but not come out”.

The boys listen to their mother, so they hide into the bushes.

Abu comes out of the forest. The woman’s behavior into a 16 years old girl now. She says,” Abu, Abu, why are you hiding into the woods. I have been looking for you in the sky. I thought that you would be the brightest star in the sky’

Abu smiles and says, “when are you going to grow up? Don’t grow up. I like you when you act like a cry baby. Can you make your pretty face again? I want you to squeeze your eyes and nose and then say something silly. I came to hear and see it.”

The woman becomes sad, “Abu, Abu, you still look the same”
Abu asks the woman again, ‘why are you ignoring my question”.
The woman starts to cry again, “Abu, I have forgotten everything. He has taken my soul and also my personality too. I have forgotten my favorite words such as true too, aha aha, etc.
The woman says, “Abu, I could not share with my father. I miss my bubby boy. I am worried about my silly daughter. Who would take care of her if something happens to me”.

Abu encourages the woman, “you are the best mom. The turmoil of life and your blind faith has created this situation. Remember, every Khan cannot be a real khan. Not every woman could be like Munna”.
The woman asks Abu, “who is Munna.”
Abu smiles, “You are Munna, a brat and intelligent kid.”
The tears started to well into her eyes, “Abu, nobody call me Munna anymore. After your and dad’s death, mom had called me,’ Munna.’ My loving man also had called me Munna. However, Munna has died. now, I am Sara. I am a creation of Khan. Though, I am not stronger like Khans”.

Abu Khan smiles, “Munna will always live even she will die. Your man did not dare to face the reality. However, you do have the courage to face reality. You did what your father had taught you. Your man did whatever his parents had taught him. I am so proud of you. He did not learn the real value of keeping the word. You have represented the principle of your father. Only a few walks in the footsteps of their father”.
The woman asks Abu, “does he still love me. Does he still miss me”?
Abu smiles, “it is an era of darkness. People sell their souls to fill their greed. People look and behave differently. My dear little brat kid, I want you to continue following your father’s principles, which will lead you in the right direction. Remember, the reality hurts, but in the end, the reality wins.”
The woman wipes her tear and asks Abu’s permission, “Can I hug you now?”
Abu smiles, “of course, you can hug me.”
The woman ran toward Abu to hug him. She opens her eyes; however, she finds herself hugging the pillow.
The tears welled into her eyes, ‘Abu, nobody has hugged me. I feel like to hug someone and cry as much as I could do. Can you kind enough to hug me?
Abu says,” yes, okay.”
She runs toward her. There is nothing to hold on, so she just hugs herself.

She calls the boys,’ let’s go out of the forest. We need to sleep now.”

The woman returns to her room while shaking inside to outside with an empty soul and mind. She asks her loving man,” why have you gone? Why have you left me alone? Don’t you know my soul is attached to your soul? I am hurting. Can’t you see it? Can you wake up from the sleep now? you have gone and Munna is dead too. I am not sure where she is now. People say that you have killed her. But, she has a different belief that God is testing her love. Don’t you know that you have some obligation for her? Have you forgotten she is your responsibility? Don’t you use your inner eye to locate your woman? Yep, she has forgotten her name. She will die, but her soul will search you forever. She will haunt you because you are her soul. Hiding behind the lies won’t provide justice to you and her. Even she dies, but her soul will come to meet you. She never played with your emotions. Your inner eyes are failed to recognize the foe and friends. Open your eyes, use your brain, and listen to your heart. You will hear only one name, “Munna.”
She tells her man, “The darkness is not gone yet. It continues to grow around us. It is a chakra view of karma which only one person could break. You are such a person who will break the circle of darkness around her.  One day, almighty will call you for the judgment. What would you tell him that you have abandoned the love of your life whom you called a wife and love of your life? Believe it or not, the same woman will beg almighty to forgive you”.

2nd Black Valentine

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Where are you? Why have you gone? Why could you not protect her? Why you disappeared? Don’t you want to see how 2nd black valentine for her is? You have thrown her out of your life. You have abandoned her. Don’t you want to see how she suffers? You didn’t want to see one drop of tears in her eyes. Don’t you have the courage to see the rain pouring out of her eyes?
Yes, she has survived but just with a few broken bones, a broken soul, and a broken heart. She lives with both physical and psychological pain. More than a year has gone, but her grief is still very intense. Her wounds are still open. She suffers a lot, but you don’t have time to see it. She still never curses you. She always prays for you. This is her second valentine without you.
She knows that you won’t send her rose this year again. You won’t send her a lovely GIF this year. She knows the reality, but she does not forget to look at the phone. She spends her day looking at your pictures.
Thanks for giving her a long-lasting gift of love. Your long-life gift will neither let her live nor let her die. She has forgotten her name too. Nobody calls her by the name, which you or mom used to call her. She has become just a she now. Are you talking about her happiness? You have taken her name away from her too.
Today red rose also looks black to her. The white snow looks in dark color. She is sitting alone 245 miles away from her home. Every day, she prays to God, “give my life and happiness to him. Almighty, you could not give me my bubby. Do one favor for me. Take my memory away so I can forget everything and everybody”.
She may forget her own name and others. But your love will go to the graveyard with her.
She says, “Have a lovely red cand happy valentine, my bubby. I will celebrate my 2nd black valentine”.