Three Years or Three Days

The night shift was calm and slow due to the minus-degree temperature. Suddenly a young nurse told her, “I can’t believe it. It is already Dec2021. Can you believe it? Without thinking anything, she responded, “I just remember Dec2018; otherwise, nothing else.” The nurse looked at her surprisingly, and of course, she knew there was no chance of getting an answer.
No, nothing has been forgotten. You can forget your cup of morning coffee. It seems it just happened yesterday. They could not stay talking to each other for days. Sometimes, she won’t talk to him for three days. He used to say, “Munna, you can’t make the decision yourself. This is not only your life.” Her life has become only hers now. Can you forget the lost part of your soul? No, never. It is impossible to forget when a 1/2 piece of your soul fell apart from you. Of course, it has been three years now, but her wounds and memories are still fresh. Despite a lot of changes, her life has stopped at one point. She is responsible for it. Why is she responsible for her destruction? Because she had spoken the truth and trusted her family. Will she ever speak the truth or trust someone? No, she will never trust anybody. But, yes, she will continue to speak the truth until her last breath.
Often people ask her about him. She smiles and says, “He is doing great.” People are not stupid. They can see the sadness in her eyes. They can feel tears stuck in her throat, making her voice quiver. Instead of tears falling outside of her eyes, they have decided to fall inside of her heart. The tears have made their decision when to come out of her eyes. At that time, she bows her head down in front of her almighty. Her tears fall directly on the top of Allah and Babaji’s feet. No, she does not ask any human to help her.
The woman carries all the memories and pain alone. She remembers for both. Once they shared and remembered it with each other, but now he has forgotten but not her. Thus, she remembers those memories on their behalf. But, of course, three years are gone. Many proposals come to the woman, but she rejects all those. she tells them, “Sorry, someone else lives in my mind, and I love him.”
No doubt, she suffers every day. No doubt, she was treated badly because of him. However, she neither could hate him nor the people who insulted her and bullied her. She could not hate the people who brought her to the edge where she attempted to end her life many times. She could not hate those people who bullied her. Her tears were her answers for those people. Many have seen those tears, but not anymore. Now they shed only at the feet of the almighty. Yes, it hurts a lot, but she only shares her pain with the almighty. She recites prayer whenever the emotional pain gets heavy or feels like ripping her heart out. She does not care what people say about it. She openly says both Allah and Babaji protect me, so I don’t need anybody else.
There is no single moment when she forgets him. His face is always in front of her. She often talks to him. Her life went upside down without him. There is nothing to complain about it. Since he has gone, she has lost many things, but nothing bothers her anymore. She loves him a lot, but her hope of meeting him again is gone. She often sees him from a distance, but she always walks away without speaking to him. Desperation is gone, but sadness has covered her completely.
The people who know her and her feelings toward her loving man somehow still have a firm belief that one day he will come back when he realizes what he has lost. But, unfortunately, some say he has lost the conscience of his soul and what you are expecting from him.”
All she knows is that she loves him and will die loving him one day. So it does not matter if she meets him. True love never dies. She cannot talk about what he thinks now, but he is still her main priority and the love of her life. She will never give anybody else his place. The almighty, instead of humans, build the soul relationship. The almighty is their middleman of love; thus, nobody can break it. Some say he’s under a lot of pressure. She says, “If his pressure reduces by staying away from me, I am the luckiest one. I am willing to continue to hurt then,”
Love means sacrifice instead of winning the war. He left the ground three years ago, and she is still standing on the ground even though she was badly injured physically and mentally. She was taught not to leave the ground and always fight like a tiger.
Day by day, she continues to be like her father. She continues to adapt to her father’s personality – stubborn, hard worker, honest, and fearless. She is not afraid to speak even though she knows it would harm her. Yet, she can still look at his father with pride. Today, she thinks there is no difference between my father and me. She is battling alone but not lonely. Enemies surround her, but she is still fearless and careless. She often thinks, “Can he face his father with pride? Can he teach his children how to stand on the ground with pride?” What about those people who she trusted? How about those people who took advantage of her situation? What about the people who bullied her? Can they sleep? Can they face their soul? Are those people capable of looking into her eyes? Yes, such people can sleep well, and they are selfish. They should not call themselves Muslims. Whatever they did was against Islam.
Often, it comes into her mind, or other people ask, “what have you done if your shoes are on the same feet?” Her answer is always the same, “Justice and equality.”
Almighty always plans ahead of time which he did the same for her. The almighty was creating a new meaning to keep her alive when others were clueless. Today, she is unsure if life continues to go on or if time is passing. All she knows is that the time should pass quickly, so her life cycle will pass quickly too. With her sad face, tearful eyes, and shattered soul, she looks at Almighty, but she never asks any questions from him anymore. True love always remains alive. Not in this life, her soul will meet its broken part in the next life cycle.

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