Everybody in the group wanted to have some fun. Everyone had a fear of pandemics, but nobody wanted others to know their fear. They were laughing or pretending to laugh. Everybody except her was worried about the future. They were not hopeless but were tired. Despite the unpredictable future, they still wanted to share happiness and their desires with each other.
One of the technicians recommended everybody should prepare their bucket list. Everybody must have written five things they desire to get done either before the pandemic ends or before their lives end. The idea was not bad at all. They wanted to get to know each other well, or it was the way to penetrate someone’s brain or heart.
Everybody had grabbed a large foam coffee cup to use as a bucket list. Everybody wrote their first five desires. The charge nurse took the lead to read the wishes. It was quite interesting to know what people wish to do amid post-pandemic time.
Someone wished for a naked dance at a beach. One of them was more interested in sitting in a jacuzzi tub and sipping wine. Some wished to go to Europe while others wished to take a vacation with the family. Many had wished to go to tropical areas. There were some hilarious wishes too.
However, her bucket list was empty. She didn’t have a single wish to complete it. Once, she used to have a full bucket list. But her wish list was always involved around or about him. Once her bucket list included things such as how she wished to spend most of her time talking to him, cooking for him, looking beautiful for him, keeping him smiling and happy, getting days off to meet him, to ensure massaging his feet and hands with the lotion because he was too busy and lazy to do it himself.
She still remembers an interesting conversation with her former boss. Everybody laughed at this topic. She used to get excited when it was her time to get a vacation, and she made sure her vacation was approved. Her former boss came to her and asked, “Can I talk to you in private?” As for her habit, she told him, “If it is regarding my January schedule, No, I don’t want to talk about it all,” She was sitting among the rest of the crew. He told her, “Oh, no, it is about something else.” As they came into the empty room, her boss asked her, “Are you willing to be flexible about the January schedule?” She told her boss, “seriously, didn’t I say no compromise in my schedule? I will need to see my hubby. I don’t care if you will fire me. bye-bye.”
Yes, her bucket list was over-filled with her wishes at that time. She didn’t care if she would lose her job or anything. He was always her main priority. Now, the same bucket list is quite empty. How can it be filled now? To fill the bucket list, a person should have desires, hopes, goals, and dreams. She has none of them. He didn’t go alone but also had taken everything except her breath away from her. Her bucket list is empty, just like her heart and mind now.
On her first day of Ramadan, she gladly massaged an 95 years old man. But it was in her thoughts that someone might be messaging her bubby’s feet. Her hubby often told her, “Nobody except you and my niece massage my feet.”