It was snowing outside. The temperature was recorded at minus 6 degrees but was felt at -20 degrees due to high wind. Unless there is some serious illness, no one dares to come to the hospital in this cold weather? Thus, the emergency department was very quiet that day.
At around 8:00 a.m., the local Mobile Emergency Unit made a radio call to the local trauma center, saying, “En route to your facility. A young female patient with multiple injuries. ETA five minutes.”
Everyone speculated that the injuries were probably related to MVA. An incomplete EMS report sometimes asks staff to think outside the box and prepare to handle the worst-case scenarios.
Instead of five minutes, the patient arrived at the hospital sooner. When the doctor entered the room, at least 7 staff members were inside the trauma room. The doctor’s first glance at the patient told her, “No, this is not an MVA case.” Yes, the doctor was right because It was a domestic violence case where a boyfriend had beat up his girlfriend.
The patient was seriously injured but was alert to provide enough information. Outside the room behind the curtains, the brothers in blue dresses were trying to listen to the conversation. The patient’s mother has also arrived at the department while the doctor was still examining the patient.
In a low voice, the patient told the doctor that her boyfriend hit her head with a rock and had strangulated her neck with hands. At the time of the incident, the patient was intoxicated with alcohol. The mother, later on, added that the incident had happened 12 hours ago. The patient could not recall the rest of the incident because she was blacked out, probably from alcohol or injuries.
A thorough examination of the patient revealed that the patient had suffered multiple injuries at different healing stages. This means that the patient was not the first time victim of abuse. The doctor tried to keep quiet for a while. She thought, “Well, the police know, and the family knows. The patient has a safe place to go if she was discharged from the hospital.”
The doctor recalled a similar case of emotional and physical abuse that occurred 20 years ago. She knocked on the patient’s door and sat down next to the patient while holding her hand. The doctor did not know when she grabbed her young patient’s hand and started talking to her.
With a sad face and teary eyes, the patient’s mother was sitting next to them. The doctor said calmly to her patient, “Listen, girl, this disgusting story will end now means today. Promise me you will never see that man again. You are a beautiful and literate person. You have the full support of your family. No, children are not involved in this relationship. It is a time now to move on.”
The patient looked back at the doctor and said, “He will get better one day. You don’t know him. My mother doesn’t know him, but I only know him.”
The doctor told the patient a secret, “I was in the same relationship for 7-8 years. It took me many years to decide because I had no family, and I had two small children. I wasted those years of my life in hell because I was thinking like you that it will change one day. No, it had never changed. I can guarantee you that he will not change, but you can change yourself. Now is the time. It would be best if you weren’t be sitting in my place after 20 years. I wish someone had advised me at that time. My life could have been different today.”
The patient’s test returned, showing minor damage to the brain and fractures of several facial bones and ribs. The patient was admitted to the hospital for further treatment. A few weeks later, the doctor received a thank-you note from the patient stating how deeply she thought about the conversation. The patient is now 24 years old and happily living with her parents, and is pursuing further studies and majoring in psychology.
No one should be in an abusive relationship. The abusive relationship must be broken before the first incident occurs. No, the abuser will not change nor stop. You are the one who can stop this abuse. No one deserves to be in an abusive relationship. I mean physical, sexual, emotional, or financial abuse. Just use simple but in a firm tone, “No, STOP. It ends right now.”
The doctors had forgotten her advice, and recently someone reminded her what she used to say and think.
The doctor had become a role model for domestic violence victims. Now the same doctor has become a role model for depressed and broken heart people. Sometimes she feels awkward when advising others because her own soul has been completely shattered. But she still tries to bring changes in the lives of others. Often she thinks, “I can’t help myself. No one can help me. At least I’ll make some efforts to get someone’s life on the right path. Nothing is left for me, but I save others Can try something for.”
The doctor often ponders how she spent those painful days alone, which is not yet finished. No one can end her suffering, but she can help others. Do you know how harsh you feel when you try to console others, but your wounds are still painfully open?