Some people could not see her tears. Some were not able to face the truth while others become selfish not to see her pain. Some of them just tried to convince her like she was a little girl. Most of them said a similar sentence, “Have a faith.”
Almost two years now, she lost faith in “Have a faith.” She has learned how to cheat herself. She also has learned to hide her tears from others. She often smiles. Everyone loves to see her smiling. Most people surrounding her knows her pain. They always try keeping her smiling. People love her innocent but blunt behavior. Does she think if all those people love me, then why he had stopped loving me? She often scratches her head when she hears how much people like her. Why had he left me if she was such a nice and gentlewoman?
Once, she was so restless. There was nobody who could listen to her. No, she was not expecting the entire world should have to listen to her personal problem. Writing on the blog was her only option left. People we call our own had abandoned her because of him. After he had gone, she continues to stay away from those selfish people.
She often says, “don’t mercy at me. I am good. I am happy walking solo on this planet. Don’t disturb me. I don’t need anybody’s help anymore.”
Once, everybody had called them a perfect couple or God has made them for each other. Perfection is gone too. Regaining herself is no easy task for her. Writing has become her therapy. Sometimes anger becomes an issue for her, especially when someone tries lying to her. Often, her anger creates issues for her at her workplace. One day she thought getting angry at others is not the solution to the problem. She starts counting till five before she opens her mouth to say something if someone tries to lie. Counting until five, it helps her to control the anger. She doesn’t like hiding the feeling inside of her. She thinks that hiding your feelings under the blanket or inside of you could cause a sudden blast which is not good.
However, talking to someone is still his problem due to a trust issue. She loves interacting with others on text messages or social media. she only likes talking to Maulana Ji.
Often being blunt and honest can cause many problems. Certainly, in addition to her innocent behavior, her blunt and honest behavior has taken his life on a different path. There is a difference between being blunt and clever. The blunt people do not use the other person’s shoulder to keep the gun and make others to pull the trigger as clever people do.
Why does she get angry when she hears the word, “Have a faith.”
Because he used this word often repeatedly to convince her. Now she thinks who should I belief.
Why she repeatedly posting his words which he had written with his hands only for her. She writes it because she believes his handwritten words are similar to written words on the Holy Quran.