You are being missed

Photo by Sebastian Voortman on

She is sad today. Where was she two years ago? Yes, she was sitting on the lawn, sipping a cup of coffee with him. Oct 2018 has become a great memory for her because she had celebrated her birthday with him. Time has changed now. Two years ago, she was a perfect mother, a perfect woman, and a perfect wife. Everybody had raced to wish her a happy birthday first. Of course, he always won to wish her a happy birthday. Now, Neither she is a perfect mother nor a perfect wife. Now she has become dysfunctional who has a broken heart and shattered soul. Now, who would race to wish her a happy birthday? Unexpectedly, Her brain and heart can make a 360 degree turn anytime. Thus, she counts each minute of her life. She has learned that people only salute the shining star. She also misses her uncle badly. Her uncle often told others, “a beautiful kaka has born in our house.”

On her birthday, her mother often went to prayer to do prayers at the local Sikh temple and then at Muslim Baba’s shrine. She cried when her mother died, “Bubby, who would go to the temple and shrine to do prayer on my birthday.” He told her, “I will go.”

The month of October brought both good and bad consequences in her life. The month of October is not good because she was born in October. Inna was gone to Almighty in the same week. Inna was his her bubby’s only son. Inna’s death was very painful for him; however, Inna chose to come into her dreams immediately after his death. Often he comes into her dream with Banny boy. His death was a mystery. Why he still comes to her dream which is still also a mystery? Why he tries to make her happy? Why he wipes her tears with his little hands in the dream? She is happy to have him in her dreams because he makes her laugh. Both Banny and Inna fights with each other.

She is happy because Inna comes into her dream, especially when she is sad. Many questions come to her mind. Why this little boy tries to keep her happy? Why he went to almighty at such a young age? Did he know that she would need him after the cowardly action of his father? Or Does it was the desire of God who knew everything in advance, so he decided to send him as her angel? If so, she is happy about the decision of Almighty and Inna.

No, nobody has wished her a happy birthday this year. Did she expect him to wish her a happy birthday? Did he go to the temple for the prayer? To see if he wished her a happy birthday, she had looked at the phone many times. Suddenly, It came to her mind, “Munna, You are not a perfect woman anymore. You are dysfunctional, so why would he wishes you a happy day. He wishes to see you die, why he would go to the temple for the prayer? The person with a dead soul never wakes up to act something good.” She fights with her mind and heart every day, which is not an easy task. She always wins to control it. Isn’t it call a life?

She doesn’t allow her heart and mind to develop any hope, daydreams, or expectation. She always succeeds to convince her mind, “don’t trust anybody.”

Does she is the only person on this earth without having any desires, hopes, faith, or dreams? No, she thinks that many others like her who are wandering on this earth aimlessly. the person’s mind and brain both become empty without desires, dreams, hopes, and faith. This emptiness is very scary, which tries to control you. It is not easy to win over the emptiness and dejection but she must fight to win over the negative energy.

This month, she also shared a secret with a family member which she never shared on the media. A certain secret could be shared with the family only. After sharing the secret, she felt as a huge burden from her brain has lessened significantly.

She told her long-gone loved ones,” You are gone from the earth but still live in my heart. You are being missed every day. Thank you for still being with me.”

16 thoughts on “You are being missed

  1. I sincerely hope and pray that you find your peace Sara. Incidentally my sister lost a young son 5 years back and his pet name was Munna.

    The gone loved ones always keep a watchful eye on us 💖🤗

    Liked by 1 person

      1. What was your meaning of life at that point of time – that ended Sara. But life is all about movement, about change. About rediscovering our focus and priorities.

        I know it is easier said that done but there is no other way. God has His ways we have no clue about. May He give you peace.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Life is chiefly service my Guruji has said. And I find it true.

        I spend my time in meditation, helping our meditation groups, any other help or guidance I can give (am a Life Coach) and travel. Now there is no travel so I have been writing much more. My first book manuscript is done.

        Balance in life is important Sara. You are most welcome to email me if you think I can be of any help.

        Stay safe. Stay blessed

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I can feel it Sara. There is a time for grief and there is a time to reflect. But life moves forward and never backwards.

        Sometimes we fall so much in love with our pain that we don’t want to give it up.

        Difficult to understand and accept Sara, but today is the only reality – past and future are mind constructs. We should make a conscious effort to be happy. If not happy – be at peace with our sadness. But this should not be our state all the time.

        May God give you wisdom and joy

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I sleep most of the time. I get up and go to work. Inside is empty so no desire left. I was happy when he was in my life. My day used to start with him and also ended talking to him. I was so happy. I had some interest. I did have some desires and dreams. All those desires or dreams were so small but very valuable. I even don’t get out of my room if I am not schedule to work. I had forgotten to smile and laugh. I live in fear now. I am afraid to sleep now because of nightmares. I slept without any fear in the past because I thought he would protect me. There is life beyond the work for others but I don’t. I just try to understand things which has no meaning or answers. I get frustrated and angry. He was not only my love but also everything else to me. Now I feel orphan. Yes, he is aware about my pain and suffering but he is not the man of God who would keep promise.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Oh oh. That doesn’t sound so good Sara.

        You say he is not a man of God who would keep his word. Then you should realise that keeping your faith in him, that he would take care was futile or misplaced. Please let him go.

        Have faith and trust only in God. He is our only security and protection.

        Please start some interaction with people other than work. Family and friends are our core need.

        Start to meditate. I don’t know whether I wrote to you earlier or not; I was helped by Paramahansa Yogananda’s teachings and lessons tremendously when I was completely lost. Check out the home study lessons at
        SRF has Centers all over the world and group meditations on weekend would help you a lot.

        Think of God and pray to Him before you sleep. All shall be well. His is the only pure and unconditional love.

        Get well soon Sara. You shall remain in my prayers.

        Liked by 1 person

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