On April 4, 2018, Mr. Khan who was a senior superintendent of police, had narrated verses from the Quran to deter a young militant from violence. It had made headlines in the media about how a senior police officer involved the terrorist’s parents in convincing their son to return to the mainstream. He promised the young militant that he will be released into the custody of his parents. Khan has tried his best to convince the child that there is nothing written in the Qur’an about jihad and killing innocent people. It was a long standoff between the Indian forces and the militants. That day, I had felt so proud of Khan. I still watch that video multiple times.
However, I had very scared to hear that. I was like, “Are you out of your mind? Do you have your safety jacket on? No, you won’t go in to meet the militant so you can compare your Quran with his Quran”. I was so scared that it could be just a trap to bring Altaf inside the house where militants were hidden. I was so afraid that the terrorists would kill him. I was shaking inside wondering how I would survive if something happened to him. The young militant was linked to foreign militants and they were later killed when Khan failed to convince the mentally challenged militant.
The same Mr. Khan swore of Allah, the children, and the Holy Quran and said, “I will always be with you. No matter what, I will always be with you. Just have faith in me. I will always protect you. I will always be with you. I will give you all the happiness. I will show you this world with my own eyes. I always want to see you smile and happy “. Not just once, but thousands of times, he swore by the Almighty to protect me.
Exactly seven months after this incident, Mr. Khan walked out of my life and he never looked back to see how much I was suffering. He abandoned me and allowed other people to torcher and insult me, which happened right under his nose. It often comes to my mind how much he trusts God’s teachings and how much he loves children. Was everything fake for him? As usual, I always say, “He is the love of my life, it doesn’t matter if he is good or bad. Our relationship was built on the will of the Almighty. Please don’t curse him.”
Now, to find some answers, it was my turn to pick up the Quran. Yes, the Quran gave me many answers to my questions. Well, there was no Mr. Khan like the young militant standing in front of me, so I read the verses of the Quran where the equality and respect of the woman were mentioned. Surah An-Nisa ‘(About the Rites in the Qur’an) explains how a man should treat his woman with respect and equality. Unfortunately, my loving man did not read this particular surah of the Quran. Or he didn’t care about the teachings of Islam. I wish he would stop hiding like a coward, confront me and look into my eyes while I would read Surah of An-Nisa for him.
I take the support of a Qur’anic story just like him to show that what is right and wrong according to the teachings of the Qur’an. However, like the young militant, my Bravo Khan has disappeared and left me alone with many questions. Is he a true Muslim? Does he respect the teachings of the Quran? I don’t know what others think, but I have doubts.
Dear comrades, I have stopped reading the Quran after Surah of An-Nisa. Today I have a question mark on my childhood belief if I ever belonged to Islam and the Khan tribe. Can you teach someone if you don’t know the subject yourself? How you can convince somebody when your own beliefs built it on just lies.
After that, I covered the Holy Quran with saffron-colored clothes, and I locked it in the locker. I’m sorry if I hurt anyone’s feelings. I was badly hurt in the name of the glorious Quran. Neither my mother’s Babaji nor my Abu’s Quran or Almighty could end my misery.