Should I salute you? Should I feel sorry for you?

From kindergarten to 10th grade, I had saluted the Tri-color Indian national flag while recited a national anthem every Monday through Saturday. On every Sunday, I had saluted the Tiranga with Abu at his posting location. I had seen pride and some strange brightness in Abu’s eyes when he saluted the national flag. I had faced the tragic day when Abu died saving the pride of his beloved Tricolor flag. Abu who was a real Khan, the true Muslim, and the real warrior had always said, “My country and Tiranga is my real pride.”

I had left my native country, but I have brought my Indian patriotism and respect and pride of Tiranga to the United States of America. I had unfurled Tiranga on my DP every January 26th Republican day and then August 15th Independence day. Close to my house, the three countries’ national flag is unfurled just outside the business plaza. My hand used to raise automatically to salute my Tricolor.

Living in the USA, some radicalized people had challenged my loyalty and patriotism. Some had discriminated me because of my brown color. I used to laugh, “seriously, everybody pays thousands of dollars to get skin like me, but almighty has gifted me.” I will give you a few examples here. After the 911 attack, I was a paramedic and responded to the call. An old white gentleman was in severe respiratory distress. To save his life, it was important to secure his airway in the field. However, the patient looked at me and refused to get treated by middle eastern because we had taken many lives. He cursed me with all kinds of F and S words. The time was kicking. I looked at his son and wife, who told me, “Young lady, go ahead, do your job. He is confused, and we are with you”. I put the tube in his throat while saying, “Okay, You can sue me, but for that, you need to stay alive. I am an Indian, and I am proud to be Indian.”. Later, he came to an apology to our station.

My second incident happened at the Mcdonald drive through in 2013. My little one ordered a chocolate shake, but the server gave her a vanilla shake. The kid started to cry. The server apologized and went to bring Chocolate shake. Suddenly, I heard a white gentleman yelled at me, “You f***king Indian came to our country to rule on us.” Of course, he used all the bad words he knew. I just got out of my car and grabbed the man from his collar and told him, “Now, say, what do you want to say.”. Until then, my brothers in blue dress had reached. The radicalized person got so scared that he ended up writing on the paper, “I will never discriminate anybody on the base of color or nationality.”
Nobody dares to insult my Tricolor or my native country; this was me. Well, I had also faced discrimination from my black patients when they didn’t get what they had wanted from me. They will demand certain things which we can’t provide in the emergency room, or it is not irrelevant to their problem. Then, they threaten me with “The black lives matters”. I used to think, “Is it a curse being a brown in the USA?” However, those are the only a few cases that happened with me. All my American colleagues supported me.

let’s go back to my native country now. People do not fight over there on the base of colors. They fight for non-sense things. They fight on the base of religion. Everything is in the sale there. Each govt sector is corrupt. Nothing will happen if you won’t bribe them. The corruption rate is so high that some even don’t hesitate to sell their country. While I was on the mission of finding my so-called estranged husband, I realized how the protectors are killing the innocents. The law enforcers and also some army personnel doesn’t hesitate to sell the pride of my Tricolor. Reality is hard to digest. Why have the politics entered into law enforcement and the army?
Now, I feel lucky being a part of the constitution of the USA. My aggression is gone. Now I don’t grab anybody’s collar, and I just walk away from the situation.
Now, I get confused or sometimes irritated when I face some matters of patriotism. People say, “No, It is hidden under your pain. It will come eventually out”. some call me” Indian female agent 007, and some call me “a traitor”. My answers to those people is only one, “Look inside of your soul before you judge me or raise your finger toward me. I don’t hesitate to show them my middle finger”
I remember saying during “finding my bubby mission, ” I had sacrificed my family, religion, my profession, my health, everything for him. He was my priority. However, It took me a few seconds when I had chosen the pride of my country and Tricolor over the man I love more than anything else.
Now in the last two years, I could not unfurl my tricolor flag. This August 15th, I had stood in front of my Tricolor and asked, “should I salute you? or should I feel sorry for you?. Your protectors are busy selling your pride. There are few honest soldiers like my Abu left. Will they able to protect you?”

Unfortunately, my current country is busy fighting on the base of colors, and my native country busy killing on the base of religions. To save its existence, humanity has gone to hell.”

8 thoughts on “Should I salute you? Should I feel sorry for you?

  1. Beautiful post Sara. My heart goes out to you. And I can well imagine your dilemma. I have gone through the same. But trust me despite all that has gone wrong and rampant corruption- tri colour would fly high. Eventually Love heals. We are all One – Love

    God be with you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. There is a passage from the last book of the Bible, near the end of a section called Revelation that talks about heaven. In his vision, St. John saw a single place, a single “nation” populated by people of every color, nation and language. We fight now because many hearts are not right with God. But, God has better things in store for those who love Him. Have a blessed week!!

    Liked by 1 person

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