Talking to Almighty

Photo by Pavlo Luchkovski on

She ran towards the mosque like a tornado, but her feet stopped at the door. He had left her at the doorsteps, and she was still waiting for him to return so that she could enter the mosque with him. She started walking backward with tears in her eyes and a wailing soul.
She sat on the floor and asked the Almighty, “Can you be kind enough to end my pain? I’ve been sad since I was 16. I can’t stand it anymore. I can’t get out of my capacity. I need to rest. My body and mind need rest. I’m really tired. I can’t run anymore. I don’t know who else can help me. Humans have failed. Can you make me like them? I just want to be materialistic and a liar like them. Can you teach me please how to play with the feelings and emotions of others? My dear Almighty, why didn’t you make me like them? The time has come now. My old version has been brutally killed. Now I’m in the middle of nowhere. I can’t forget him. I can’t hate him. Why don’t you create hate for him in my heart? “

She ran away from the mosque but kept talking to the Almighty, “He has become a god because he doesn’t feel anything. He doesn’t feel my pain. Can you be so kind as to feel my pain? If so, please end my pain. “
Wiping away her tears, she asked again her Almighty, “Everyone hates me now. Why didn’t you warn me that I am unfit for this materialistic world? You should have reminded me. It’s been almost two years now. Why do I feel that decades have passed without speaking to him? Why can’t I forget him? I have tried counseling, meditation, meditations, and prayers, but so far, everything has failed. I’m afraid to smile. I’m afraid something bad could happen if I smile. What could be worse than this hell?

She continued talking to her dearest friend Almighty, “I don’t trust anyone. I’m not sure I’ll be back at your door again. Today is my last day at your door to beg for my love. If you can bring my dear man back, I want you to call me back to your paradise. Can you do some magic so my hubby will kill me? I like to die in front of him, so he can see my painful death? Why is he hiding like a little girl?
If my love and feelings were not true for him, why are you keeping his love alive inside me? I want nothing more than my bubby.
Dear Almighty, my faith in you will soon be shattered. No one can trust you anymore. Nobody will have faith in love, Islam, and khan if I go away without his love. Don’t blame me if I do something bad. So far, I have followed you and your principles, but you have repeatedly failed me. No one would dare to speak the truth if I left this place without my love today.

Why do people call you a superpower when you can’t help me? Please tell me whom I should call for help? Can you tell me where my mother, brother, father, chachu, and Abu are so I can call them to help me? Do you have an answer for me? No, you have no answer for me.
I’ll leave it to you. I would rather walk alone on this earth than rely on humans. I am yours and his responsibility. So you both owe me some answers. Can you please give my bubby some strength to keep his promises? Either you’re fake or my bubby. Who are a liar and a coward? I will let you decide, but I will not come to your door again. Tell my father that his innocent daughter has failed. She could not keep it with this world. I’m going back to my cave. I was hoping you could provide me with justice for each tear that went out of my eyes.

The woman asked her almighty, “Where is the man who said he would protect me forever. Where are his promises? Why did he leave me to die in the desert alone? Of course, It was my mistake to speak the truth, but he should have handled it. It was his responsibility to protect me. He knew well that I would be shattered without him. He knew well that I was never exposed to the outside world. He is everything to me. People had torched me right under his nose, and he just kept looking at it. I don’t care if he rejects me or accepts me, but he and you owe me some answers. My fasting will continue until my death, or I will meet him again. My life is in yours and his hands. People say that he continues to halaal me. I have forgiven everybody except you and him. I will be waiting for justice.

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