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Once upon a time, she was a firm believer in faith and hope. Now, when she talks about faith and hope, she just starts to scratch her head. Now, talking about hope and faith takes her into deeper thoughts. She gets confused. She often gets upset and tells him, “I’m scared. I have lost faith since you left. He always said to her, “Munna, I have faith in you.”
She spoke the truth because she believed that he would handle the situation wisely. She believes in him more than the Almighty. However, everything went in a different direction. She tells him, “I am not me anymore. I do not know myself. Often, I wonder how you can change in a few hours? You have changed that has made significant changes in me. She tells him, “I am scared for many reasons. My safe house is no longer safe.”
What has come on her mind today that has made her sad in a matter of minutes? She never answered her phone. People are well aware of her habits, so they always email or text her. Everybody knows she’ll check her emails often. She received an email stating that her brain surgery was due on August 21. How long will she postpone her surgery? She does not want to go under general anesthesia. The surgeon cannot perform 10-hour long brain surgery with local anesthesia alone. She asked his surgeon, “Afzal, can you delay my surgery for a few months? I doubt it’s safe because I’ve just recovered from COVID. “Have faith in me,” Afzal said. This incomplete sentence was enough to bring tears to her eyes. The sentence was incomplete but strong enough to shake her soul.
How will her mourning process end when she has kept mixed feelings for him? In her dreams, she fights with him, and sometimes she loves him, and sometimes she feels sorry for him. Why does he come in her dreams every night? Why does she feel intense pain? Why can she feel it when he thinks about it? In his last dream, she was very angry with him. As usual, she managed to get into his office. He was trying to drink tea, and there were some snacks in a bowl. She grabbed a cup of tea and a bowl of snacks from him. She poured tea on the floor, and then she threw snacks everywhere on the floor. She left the office without saying a word to him.
Often, she wants to have some modern feeling. But she believes in an ancient love that dies when the soul leaves the body with death. Her soul is already dead. The body will die too soon. She knows very well that one day he will pull the trigger. He is well aware that she will create a situation where he will have no choice except to order his bodyguards to shoot her. She laughs, “I don’t make any more friends. But I did complete my Ph.D. how to make my enemies “.
Her tears welled up in her eyes, “It’s true we couldn’t live like we had taken a dream many times. But I would be very happy to die near you. It’s already written, and no one could change it. No one is higher than the Almighty. ”
Dreams, beliefs, desires, and hopes are gone. Her feelings have died since he was gone. However, there is only one feeling left which will continue until the will of the Almighty. Right now, she’s just saying, “I’m married to his soul.”