Her room was locked from the outside. She thinks, “Have anybody entered my room since I left two decades ago.”
She opened the door with a fear of old memories. Instead, the room appeared very neat and fresh. The entire house was remodeled, and furniture was changed a couple of years ago. The house was given a modern look, and everything was upgraded to the western style. But her room was left untouched. Her books were still on the table. There was no dust on the books, so someone must have cleaned this room if it was not used.
The books on the table reminded her of how she slept with her books. Mother often yelled at her, “how many times do I have to remind you that books should be on the table and you should be sleeping on the bed.” As a result, she often found the girl sleeping on the floor.
She had stood in front of the closet. The rich, dark-colored wooded cupboard had a full-size mirror on one of its doors. She found the hidden key in the same place. It meant nobody had opened the closet since she was gone. She picked a few items and one particular book from the cupboard and put everything into the plastic bag.
She quickly came out of the room and asked the driver,” Can you drive me to the irrigation canal, please?” Binu’s mother was screaming at her,” Outside is too hot. You are not used to the warm temperature. At least, can you change your clothes?”
She told the driver, “Keep driving. Don’t stop. Don’t look back,”.
The driver is new. She thought in her mind, “where is Arjun gone? Why is this new boy driving the car?” She didn’t ask the driver what his name was. He looked happy to see a rebellious woman in the family. The driver told her, “I heard about you a lot, but this is the first time I have seen you. Your cousins come often. They often talk about you”. She ignored the driver because she was busy looking outside. Everything has changed. It has become a city now. The countryside is no longer in the countryside.
They were driving on the road along the irrigation canal. Then, her perfect place finally came, so she told the driver, “You stay here. Wait for me. Don’t follow me”.
She went a little down, and now she could touch the water with her hands. The water was not very clean, and the water flow was also very slow. Slowly, she took out the plastic bag from her handbag, which she carefully put into the water. She was not sad at all. Instead, a tear of happiness welled into her eyes, “I will let you go, Abu. I will let your memories go now. Altaf will take care of me now. Don’t worry about me. I am happy now. He is a very nice man. He is also a khan and wears a uniform. So, I will never be alone, and He will take care of me. He has promised me to erase all my bad memories.”
However, the darkness of her fate had stood quietly behind her back. The demons laughed at her, which she could not hear, saying,” No, silly girl. You need to keep those memories. Those memories are your best friend, so don’t let them go. The new memories could be more fatal”. However, the woman refused to listen to demons and devils.
She told the driver, “Go back directly the home.” She wanted to stop at her play place. At least once, she wanted to sit on the bench where Abu had sat and taught her many things. A few meters away from the bench, Abu died fighting with the bad people. She closed her eyes tightly as she reached the place. She remembered what the bubby had told her,” promise me. Can you swear to me that you wouldn’t go over there? I want to see you happy. I want you to forget old memories. I am in your life now”.
She came back home without visiting her play place. Her ailing mother looked at her daughter’s face. Her face showed happiness and satisfaction, which her mother wanted to see before death. The mother died peacefully, thinking,” Her silly daughter is in the right hand now. She will be taken care of nicely. I can die peacefully now”.
Of course, she has listened to him. He is his present and the future. She had left her past behind.
The stress was so intense, and she could not recall everything. Now, the chemicals have completely controlled her brain, making her memories fresh. She often compares now which memories were more fatal before or after she met him. Where are her past and present? She refuses to think of her future.
She prays to almighty, “Can you erase my memories?” Can you wash the hard drive of my brain?”
But suddenly, a strange fear comes into her mind,” The old memories will be erased, then how I would live then.”