The sky doesn’t look blue because it has covered with dark clouds. The sun is also hidden somewhere behind the clouds. The weather has lost its boundaries. The spring feels like winter. It was snowing last night. What would happen today? She stands next to the window and looks beyond the train track. First, she sees a sharp and quick lightening on the sky, and then she hears a loud thundering after that rain has started to pour. The storm is so massive like the sky has opened its wings widely to get rid of the water.
There is also another rain which directly pours into her soul. Sometimes, the rain of her eyes become so intense that it starts pouring out of her eyes, kisses her cheeks, and finally falls on her shirt. She doesn’t allow anybody to see her tears anymore. Sometimes, it seems complicated to say whether the rain of her eyes is intense, or the rain of the sky is more torrential.
The woman looks around and thinks, “what people think about almighty. So sometimes people use the name of almighty to convince somebody.”
She thinks about him, “He often said swear to God or swear to the head of kids.” She always asked him, “would you leave me if someone forces you?” He often said, ‘no, I wouldn’t leave you. Don’t you believe in me? I swear to the head of kids. I swear of Almighty that I will never leave you alone”. The woman has a deep faith in the almighty, so wonder why she starts to believe him what he had told her. She has blindly trusted him how a person could swear to almighty if he or she is not honest. He always reassured her. Now she thinks why people use the mighty to convince somebody.
Often, she feels weak, but she feels as supported by the almighty. She smiles, “This is why my Allah and Babaji hold me strongly, so I won’t fall.” Yes, she had fallen badly, but there were no helping hands who could help her get up. The injuries were so devastated. The doctors could not decide whether her physical injuries or emotional injuries were dangerous. Slowly, the physical damages are being repaired, how about her psychological injuries. She has found her way to treat her emotional wounds. She starts to pray right away as he comes into her mind.
The girl wonders what God will say to them that swears by his lies. The woman laughs and says, “I was fallen severely enough, but both my Allah and Babaji saved me.” The injuries are so deep that neither Babaji nor Allah alone could have able to handle her alone.
In the past, she has stood in the same window alone. The rain could not compete with her tears. The blue sky could not hear her loud screaming, so the sky tried to thunder more loudly. She felt ripping her heart out of her chest. She was wailing like a dying fish without water. She looked at the same window and asked almighty, “who is mine out of this your eight billion population? Who would hold my finger now? How would I stay alive? Of course, humans had become deaf, mute, and blind, but almighty did not. The woman had knocked many doors, but none had opened for her. She did not curse anybody. She did not hate anybody. But her tears have been reached at the door of almighty. Since then, she has stood by the window with the help of almighty and her two little angels. she often asks herself, “What else I need now?”
What else would she need now? She often told him, “Bubby, can you put my shoes and walks a few miles, then we will talk about the pain.” He was out in the middle east alone. He did not have bodyguards or 200 people waiting for him to meet. He was telling her, “Munna, why did you not help me to make a decision.”
He asked if he should go to the middle east or not. Can you advise me? The man always took her advice, but she could not recommend it if he should go or not.
She did not want to advise him on this topic. There was a reason because she knew that he wouldn’t be able to live alone. She was right. She often laughed at him, “Can you try to live alone like me? No, you can’t. Living alone is not easy, or it is not for everybody. Only a few people could live. The loneliness was not the cup of tea for him.
Wonder why he decided to go away from her? Did it was a matter of dumping, or did it was a matter of weakness?
She often asks him, “walk in my shoes, live alone like me, show your guts like me.” It is not called stupidity. It is called bravery, which almighty won’t give to everybody. A friend said, “her beautiful valley has become restless when a broken soul has left the valley. The woman who loves her valley, nature, and the animal were left to die alone. She was left to die alone by her beloved man. She suffered, and she continues to suffer, but she still says, “God is testing my love.” The friend says, “You are allowing the almighty to stretch you more.” The woman says, “almighty always come to rescue me.”
Not everybody is the same. Nobody is perfect. Not everybody is wrong. She thinks all this and tries to step out of her cave of isolation. She goes inside right away after taking one step out. Often, she feels, “I may be unfitted for this society. The society is unsuitable for me. The world is not safe out there. I need to stay inside. Almighty has better things to do instead of saving me. I will just look at the world through my window. Both panels of the window are heavily guarded by her both almighty, so this is my safe house.”
She thinks, “I have always protected my loved one. I was too busy protecting the people who were busy being selfish. I did not know how much I continued to harm myself. I only came to know when the non-irreversible damage had already done. It happened because of my blind faith and love for the man of God. The man has forgotten his responsibility. The man has forgotten how many times he has sworn to God. The man has forgotten his promises. The man has forgotten that he told somebody to wait, and she is waiting for him.
She remembers the last face to face meeting with him. He said, “I will come back soon.” She is waiting for him because of her faith and love. Almighty will give her strength. She believes in almighty that she will be laughing and smiling again. Then her brain says, “stop dreaming, Munna. Don’t be stupid. Keep walking alone. You are strong enough to do it alone. Almighty is with you. He would support you. He would protect you. The mighty would take you the right direction. She smiles, “I am not alone, bubby. I have my angel boys and two Almighty with me. But I do miss you every moment”.