The interrogation of your soul

The little girl’s father often used to tell her that a person should interrogate their soul at least once a day. The girl always asked, “Baba, how a person could interrogate his or her soul and why they should do it.” The father always advised her, “Look into your eyes through the mirror which will take you inside your soul. Then think back about the entire day. You need to look at what you have done right and wrong. What circumstances have made you do such things? The actions of your soul would reflect in your eyes. You will not be able to look directly into your eyes if you have done something wrong. Afterward, you make a promise to yourself on how to improve yourself. This daily exercise will keep you from doing something wrong and keep your soul clean and pure”.
Most of the things used to go over her head, and she asked the soldier boy, “Abu, Abu, I don’t get it. why my father always tells me that I should look into my soul at least once a day. Can you be kind enough to explain it to me?. It seems interrogation to me”. But, Abu said, “your father is right. It will prohibit you from making any mistake or sin in your life. It will also provide you an opportunity to overcome your mistake”.
The girl asked Abu, “I will always be a good girl. I will follow my baba’s rules. Abu, you should do it too”.
Since then, the woman has always interrogated her soul every day. She looks into her eyes through the mirror and asks herself what I have done or not done. How I can improve myself if I have done something wrong”.
Often tears welled into her eyes when she interrogated her soul now. She thinks, “I am done, and I can’t do more than this. I was a human and used to feel like a regular person. What soul would I interrogate now? The soul is broken into many pieces, and it could take her entire life to collect all those pieces. She can’t glue her broken soul, but she tries her best not to break someone’s soul. Today, she interrogated her soul again. She felt, “I have misbehaved with somebody. I should not have been rude to my mentor/boss”.
At first, she thought of texting him, but then something came into her brain, “No, I should avoid direct contact with anybody. I am sorry about being rude to you. I did not mean to speak with you like this. You have saved my professional life. You are trying to make my personal life better. My bubby often told me not to expect too much from others. I am thankful to you. My personal life won’t restart anymore. I have put a permanent break into my own life. I don’t need anything. Everybody loved me a lot. I can use their love for the rest of my life. My bubby also loved me a lot, so I don’t need more love. I am unhappy, but I am so glad to be satisfied. I am also glad about being unhappy. I feel alone, but I also enjoy my own company”.
She neither wants to waste anybody’s time nor expect anything from anybody. The woman thinks, “I have made an unbelievable recovery in my professional life. But I can’t move forward in my personal life. I have become so paranoid that I won’t be able to trust the almighty when it comes to my personal life. This is me. I was born this way. I can’t change who I am.”

Many hands reach toward her, but she pulls her hand away after giving the phone number of her bubby, “sorry, this person has decided my life. Contact him if you have the courage because I have given him full authority to decide about my life. I’m sorry, I can’t give my father’s place to anybody. I cannot give my bubby’s place to anybody because he is still alive. God has not given me a brother, but someone from across the border has become my brother; it does not matter if I have contact with him or not. At the end of the story, my personal life is over”.
Yes, she calls herself unfit for this society. This is her fault. Society is good, but her fate is not good. The woman thinks, “How could I fit into this society? I get angry easily. I am looking for affection and love rather than fakism. I look for quality rather than quantity to be fit for this society because I am not ready to sell my soul yet. I can’t sleep until the truth comes out. When I look at them with my paranoid behavior, who could be my friend? I don’t like making friends or relationships because I am afraid to get hurt again”.

The woman interrogated her soul again today. She looked at herself through the mirror. She looks into the eyes. Suddenly questions came to her mind, “where is the brightness of my face gone? Why do I feel myself not being me? Why do my eyes look so sad? Why is my soul wailing? I can hear a crying soul, which makes my eyes so foggy. I can’t look directly into my eyes because my eyesight is blurry.”
Her soul tells her, “Listen to your boss. Time is now or never”. The woman’s answer remains the same, “Who cares if my beloved man is not with me, but he is still alive. I am waiting for him. One day, the almighty will give him the strength to speak up. One day the almighty will wake him up; until then, I will stay in my cave waiting for my beloved man”.

Allah will wake him,” Look at the woman. She is still standing solo in her post without knowing the consequences and future. She is alone, and people don’t hesitate to take advantage of her situation. She fought and will continue to fight alone.”

She thinks, “This is the work of the almighty instead of mine. My job is to keep his memories and love alive inside me.”.
Until then, the unfit society will keep itself alive.

“In Islam, taking your life is called sin. What it calls when people kill someone alive or make others commit suicide”.

“How many of you interrogate your soul once a day.”

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