Her wandering and wailing soul is not in peace. A fellow blogger asked how you are coping while fighting on the frontline. She could not respond to him because she had lost in the past, “I don’t feel afraid of dying. I am afraid of dying without meeting him.
After doing a few things, she had to sit by the window, which was wide open. The wind is so fast and so is the rain. The intensity of her pain has started to compete with the wind and rain. She can see him with or without opening her eyes, and she feels his presence. She just sat on the floor with her knees down in front of the open window. The fresh and cool breeze touches her hair gently.
Babaji’s picture is on the wall on the right side of the window. She looked to the right side and asked for forgiveness, “forgive me. You never left me, but I am the one who left you. So it is not your fault. But you will always be my Babaji. I love your peaceful teaching. Have you forgotten to write peace in my fate?”
She looks at the left side of the wall. She feels the presence of Allah. She thinks both of her almighty are sitting on each side of the window. The woman laughs, “does it matter that my bubby has gone, but I have two Almighty who always helps me” she looks at Allah and asks, “the man of Allah has brought me here. Both of you owe me an answer. Nobody will believe you if I die with suffering and without my answers.
My belief and love for you tell me to knock at your door. Do you exist? If so, then I want to see My Bubby through this window. I want to hear his voice.”
She becomes sad, “my bubby could be wrong, but my Abu can’t be the wrong person. Are you ready to destroy his beliefs which he had sired into my soul”?
The woman sat on the floor while her eyes were wide open. The wind strikes her hair and face often. She kneels. She closed her eyes, but she had opened her brain. She prays to Allah, “I need to see My Bubby. My soul is restless, and my heart is wailing. I need rest and sleep”.
The woman opens her inner eyes like her bubby often used to advise her. Now, she can see mountains full of snow. She started walking on the top of the mountains and chose to sit on the highest one. “I can see him from here,” she tells Ina and Banny. Can you see him too?
She can see him sitting in her room far away in the west of the world. His face looks fresh. She touches his face and then tries to make the shape of his mustache with her two fingers. She feels his moles on her face. Sorry, I could not remove it, which you always wanted me to remove”.
He is physically away from her, but his face is so fresh as she saw it yesterday. She says to him, “You were right. Nobody can take you away from my soul. It doesn’t matter where we live”.
She cries again,” it was written in my fate. I tried to make your life easier, but I didn’t know that my step would cause me to walk on thorns again. I did what I should have done. But, unfortunately, you couldn’t do your duty. You have also left me alone to fight even though you knew this battle would be the worst.”
“I am sitting between two Almighty waiting for you today. It is because you cannot act on what you are supposed to do. You have run away from your duty. So I will be sitting in the middle of those two Almighty waiting for you for the rest of my life. My soul not only cries, but it also hurts badly. You had always asked why we had met, or sometimes I asked the same question to you. Do you remember what we had told each other? ‘God’s desires and the old souls have met a previous life connection again.’
There is something that I still continue to search for. Instead of asking questions from others, I only ask the question from the Almighty. I often ask if you have come to my life to bring me close to the almighty. Can you believe it, bubby? I talk a lot to Almighty, but they don’t like it when I ask too many questions”.
A friend said, “Even enemies call to encourage each other while fighting on the frontline. What type of man is he? Who spent many years with you and then gone in 2 hrs? He is not a good person”.
She smiled, “he didn’t call me when I was dying in reality. I had a stroke and a heart attack. Don’t you think he did not know it? People were killing me right under his nose, and he was sitting helplessly. Do you think he cares now, or do I care? It is too late now”.
However, the woman sits close to the window every day, waiting for someone. Her soul cries. She often says, “I miss my hubby bubby. My soul is wailing to find him. He has forgotten me, but I keep the memories for both of us. Almighty, keep him very happy. I am happy to see his face in my dream and soul. He lives in my heart. I won’t ever see him again in my life. Please remind him once in a while that somebody loves him a lot and is still waiting for him. Remind him she is the same woman he loved a lot too”.
She does not know if her soul still wails when she sleeps or what.