Moulvi lives next to the Mosque, and he was getting ready for Fajr prayer. He came out to see who is crying at the door. He asked the woman, “Can I help you?”. She answered him, “Nobody could help me except almighty, and he is hiding from me. My Bubby is also hiding from me”. Not sure if Moulvi was able to understand her because she was crying and talking at the same time. She was also not sure if Moulvi has said anything to her. She had sat on the doorsteps of the Mosque.
Moulvi is a polite gentleman who has an excellent knowledge of Islam. He told the woman, “you never came back since that day. I have seen you in the parking lot many times, but you never stepped out of the car”.
The woman said, “Sorry, I am distraught at Almighty. My bubby had left me on the doorsteps, so I won’t go inside until he comes. But I need to ask many questions from Almighty. I need to ask what sin I have done. Why he has punished me. I need to ask him what many innocent people have done wrong. Is it a sin to love somebody? Is it a sin to speak the truth? Should I be dishonest? Why he doesn’t come to help those innocent people who are suffering today? Does he sees what the heck going on his planet?”
Moulvi laughed and said, “I still remembered the day senior Imam did not have an answer for you. This world has many questions without any specific answers”.
She continued to cry, “what was my sin?. I need to know, and I need to know now. The world is near to end. I feel alone. I want to know what I have done wrong? Am I a sinner?. I come here to get my answer”.
Moulvi possibly got tired from her stupid questions and told her, “Who is the saint if you are the sinner.”
She looked at the Molvi and left,” No, you also don’t have the answer to my questions.” She looked at the Mosque again, “I will be back to get my answers. Don’t hide from me, almighty”.
She started to drive toward her home. She was so stressed and knew well that she could forget her way back home, which always happens when she cries from her heart. However, she is smart enough to make her map marking. While her brain is struggling to cope, she started to say loudly, “watch for the solo tree on your left side, then make a left turn after 0.3 miles. It will take me home”.
On her way home, she continued to think, “My doctor says that you are not insane, and it is just PTSD. Molvi says you are not a sinner. Father always says that you are a trooper and an innocent soul. My Babaji cannot talk. My Bubby has hidden somewhere. I am confused as usual”.
She continued to think, “Am I born to cry? Almighty wrote all this pain in my fate before I was born. Why don’t I act like others? Why don’t I forget him? Why does he continue to knock at my soul? Why I can’t move forward. I may be insane. Will my tears ever get dry?
Fifteen minutes of drive from Mosque to home had ended up at least 45 minutes for her. She drove into the countryside while crying. She wanted to take everything out of her mind before she entered the house.
She laughed, “My bubby promised me that he wouldn’t let any tears come out of her eyes. He also promised me to change my fate”. Yes, he did change her fate significantly but failed to dry her tears.
She felt weak and drained out as she reached home. She was shivering with the cold. The thermostat had shown temp set to 68. “why still I feel cold? I should drink some Khawa”.
However, she was so cold and tired to make some Khawa. She wrapped herself into the warm comforter and extra heavy blanket, but she continued to feel cold. She felts cold in her lungs while laying on her back. She felts a cold shiver in her spine while laying on her stomach. She felt a burning sensation on the skin under her eyes. She thoughts, “Is any medicine to stop my damn tears? It makes sense that Ph of tears is close to sodium chloride”.
She continued to think about what a nightmare would come tonight. She did not know when she went to sleep while talking to almighty and her bubby, “keep hiding from me. I love both of you. One day, I will find you to get my answers. Sorry almighty, I have fought with you again today. my dear Bubby, the world out there is not safe for the single woman. I will just hide in my cave and will continue to wait for you”. She remembered him sitting next to her in a red polo shirt. She felt safe. She smiled and said, “Thank you, Almighty. You are always kind to me. I really appreciate you. Keep my Bubby and everybody safe”.