No, I don’t take the life cycle seriously. My life cycle was not the combination of sorrow or happiness. Yes, once I had taken the life cycle seriously. I am trying to be positive even I have lost the faith of joy in my life. My childhood was the best part of my life. Being an innocent or brat little girl, I had not taken my life seriously, which is typical for the children. However, remembering my childhood gives me a lot of happiness which gives me a smile. I have started to smile again but inside of me feel so scared. I was born as a Sikh but reborn as a Muslim, which I was told. Three wonderful men had raised me. One of them was a Muslim who believed in Allah, and his name was Abu (my soldier boy), my father believed in humanity, and he was a very spiritual, and my uncle (chachu) who believed in Sikhism. Three had taught me something which has become my Quran now. I recite my Quran every day. I do have my version of the prayer, which I have made from the teaching of those three wonderful men. Unfortunately, those three men were gone to almighty when I was only 16 years old. None of them had forced me to chose any religion.
Now, my daily prayer includes, “Allah and Babaji, keep everyone (even the people who dislike me)happy, healthy, and prosperous. Bless me so I can work hard while keeping my humanity and honesty. Keep evils and demons away from me because they are scary. Give me a superpower to save the life of others. Please slap on my head right away if my actions will take me toward the sin. Keep my spirits up to fight back and fight for those who cannot fight for themselves. Keep my bubby safe and healthy. Tell him Munna loves him. Don’t let me be a lazy person. My dear Babaji and Allah, stay inside of my heart. Don’t leave me. I don’t care if everyone leaves me alone, but you don’t leave me plz. I want to meet my bubby again. I want to be in the valley again. Can you be kind enough to give me strength, love, keep me honest, and make me brave? I do not want you to be uncomfortable, so I try my best to be a good person. I will talk to you tomorrow again, so wait for me. Your daughter: Sara Munna”.
This is my prayer or my Quran or bible or Granth Sahib. I am sure that someone listens to my prayer. I want peace and love. I want people to be happy, healthy, honest, and hardworking.
Back in my life cycle, after my childhood, my life had made many cycles so quickly that I forgot to keep the track. Honestly, those life cycles were so painful, and I don’t want even the wrong people on this universe to suffer like me.
Once I was told that almighty stretch the people to test their limits. Almighty has stretched me beyond those limits. This is the reason I always fight with Almighty. Why he stretched me more than others? But he also gives me the strength to get up and fight back. So that is why I get along with God. I love God because he is always there like a good father. I went through hell in my life, and this is my hell. However, I appreciate Almighty for keeping me strong and honest. So I am his good daughter. Everyone has only one almighty, but I have all of them. This could be the reason that I am still alive.
Yes, I don’t go to Mosque because my bubby has left me on the doorsteps of the mosque. I refuse to go inside without him. I will wait for him to take me inside the mosque; otherwise, I won’t go. I don’t need to go inside the holy place because Almighty resides in our hearts. Almighty lives in the heart of each living creature on this planet.
I had taken my life so seriously when the love of my life was with me. I had taken each step or dream seriously. I had taken even the fake promises seriously. I had taken so seriously that it has shattered me in many pieces. I try to collect each piece, but I find his name written on every piece. I see his face on each broken piece of my soul. Do I hate him? No, Never. He is the man who taught to live again. He has made me feel that I am not an orphan. He has loved me enough. He has brought my life back. He has given me many years of happiness. For me, he is everything to me. I feel orphan again since he is gone. People always advise me to move forward. He often asked me why we met. It is a soul connection that never breaks. It was a desire of almighty. Now, this life is hell without him.
In 2 hrs, my life cycle had changed dramatically because I had spoken the truth.
Only a few people had heard my screaming. Many people in this world are the witness of the reality, but everyone except few has shown the blindside.
Now, I don’t take my life seriously. I laugh when someone tries to talk with me about faith or love. The woman who lived her entire life in the cave is outside now, struggling to laugh or smile. I don’t live to see the future. I live each minute.
In the past, I had spoken with my heart and had paid the price, but it does not stop me from speaking the voice of my heart.
I believe in Almighty. I will continue to recite my version of the Quran. I will continue to wait for him to take me back to my valley. Otherwise, I will think my life cycle is permanent at the stop sign. I could not live in happiness, but I will try my best to make everyone happy and smiling. This is a hell cycle of my life. I am still excited to live in this hell because I am afraid to see another version of hell. Yes, I won’t take my life cycle seriously. Why?
People have raised many questions from time to time. Can anybody give me a better version of prayer? People asked me why I don’t cover my hair. Why have I adopted western life? Some people have told me, “You have become the part of the uncivilized world. I tell those people, “seriously, look inside of yourself. Covering your head or body won’t make you a good person while your soul is naked. What would your prayer do if you don’t hesitate to kill someone’s soul for your greed? This uncivilized country is my safe house. I feel safe. Nobody judges me in this country. The strangers have supported me. My body is recovering from injuries, but my soul will always be wounded. I want everybody happy and in peace. Almighty will always stay with you if we don’t harm others. I can’t do good, but I try my best not to hurt anybody. My best friend is my almighty and my bubby, but I am a friend of everyone. Yes, I get upset. I cry and scream. I fight with almighty, but at the end of the day, we are friends again.
I like talking to knowledge and wise people because I want to learn, which helps me to improve. Yes, I often get weak. Sometimes, I feel alone. But I express my feeling through my words. This blog is the only option left for me to communicate with my loved one.