Both Fear and Faith start with an alphabet of F. However, there is also a deep connection in those two words. Both words have power. Each word has its strengths. Both words impact human life. Faith brings positiveness while the fear brings the negativism. Faith goes away when fear takes the lead. However, faith helps to get rid of fear. Sometimes, fear creates many issues. Sometimes, fear also makes somebody have faith. Some people use both fears and hope dramatically.
Most of my dreams come true. This is why I scare of nightmares and dreams. I always have a fear in mind to lose him, which has come true. In my goal, someone had thrown the tart on my face, but also in a real lot of humiliation is thrown on my face. I had told him about someone throwing a tart on my face many years ago. Inayat had come to my dream immediately after he was gone to almighty. Altaf always told me about being negative.
Whenever I expressed my negative feeling or fear of separation to him. He always said, “Have faith in me. Have faith in almighty. Have faith in my love”. I have faith in him. His positivity has poorly turned. My fear came realistically. I have faith in almighty. I have faith in his love and promises. I mostly think, “I have belief in my love and faith so Altaf would come back one day. I have a firm belief that one day he will have the courage to face reality, and one day he will have the courage to tell the people, “I love my munna.” I have faith in his faith. It does not matter if it is just false hope, but it gives me another minute to live”.
Many of you guys may think why I talk about him. Why she can’t write or talk about something else. He is my life. I have spent my life around him. He is the only one whom I love talking about. We used to communicate 24 hrs but never get tired or bored listening to each other. He has often said, “I never talk to someone in my life like I talk with you.” It was the same thing from my side too. He was the only I talked and thought about even he was or not with me or around me. I have become estranged or ex for him, but he will always be my present and future. The difference is only that now I talk to his soul, but I do talk with him all day long.
For me, he will remain with me for the rest of my life. He was and will be the center of my life. It does not matter if I meet him or not. However, it will be his name in my heart and spirit when I will take my last breath.
The world is going through adamant times. Everywhere is chaos. People get busy to survive, but my mind has been still busy thinking if he is safe or secure. He is not sick etc. My concentrate always toward him. The chaos or vulnerability and traumatic injuries won’t take me away from him. He is still my priority. What do you guys think that why I am like this.
I have an enormous amount of fear inside of me—the fear of hurting again. Fear and fear only. The faith is gone.
I write to him every day. I think my voice always reaches him. Once he had felt my love, and one day, he would feel my love. I spend my day working. I come to the hotel room after working 12 hrs long shifts. The aim of life comes to ends when I step out of my workplace. I still feel he is around me. Nothing change except I cannot communicate with him on the phone. The love is the same. The passion is the same. I still remember his last conversation,” It does not matter where we live. It does not matter if we ever meet in our life. Love would remain. The souls will be all together, and nobody would separate us”.
No, I am not upset at him. The stringer had taken my life in control for a while. How about him. Love is not necessary nowadays. Cleverness wins. The woman has 365 characters, which she uses to control someone. Right now, Cleverness, con, and 365 characters continue to win but remember the reality and love wins in the end.