The woman has driven to work for 4.5 hrs. Her neck and lower back are stiff like a block of wood. There is no pain except stiffness. The brand-new cemented spine doesn’t hurt anymore, but It is just stiff like wood. The pain was better than the stiffness. At least, the pain was able to take her attention away. The physical pain controlled her emotional pain. On the top, she has decided not to write anymore. However, she still dares to fight back. She always dares to bring the truth forward. Who is trying to tell the truth? Whom is she trying to prove? Everything is materialism. There is no value of feelings.
She has faced a snowstorm on her way to work. She has pulled her car to the roadside likes another vehicle due to poor visibility. She wrote to her roots, “thank you for helping people in New Delhi, please just read my letter to Allah.” She was still in the snowstorm. She asked herself, “why there is still snow in the south? Who is angry at whom and why? Do Devils win over God? Does humanity really end? Why God punishes people? We need a warm environment to kill the virus”.
She looked at her phone. She kept looking at one specific tweet and asked herself,” Someone has said really well.”
The woman replied to the tweet, “yes, I have a firm belief what you had said. Once upon a time, a helpless and weak woman who has a shattered soul and her eyes full of tears, looked at the valley before she left forever. Since then, the valley is unrest and unwell”. The woman forgot to mention that the helpless and weak woman had not left the valley first time but also she had left when was a little kid.
The shattered soul of the woman decided not to share with anybody else. She had chosen to live her life in the cave. Did she write her life formula with chemical formula: – 2decades+1decades-two decades=? She has written formula to the specific person with the particular message. What does it really mean? The woman just smiles hysterically. She has tried to throw her sense of humor on the media. Does she is happy? Does she really talk with her a sense of humor? Or does she just trying her best to bring the duplicate happiness on her face?
She has worked hard for 12 hrs. This is her job, and she gets paid hourly to do her job. She gets paid to work, so she works every single second with a full passion. The established carrier was once ruined. This is her second chance to prove her credibility and reliability. She asked for, “Bless me to do my job.”
Yes, after 4.5 hours of the long drive and working 12 hours long in the busy emergency department, she comes out of the hospital. Outside is so cold. She looked toward the sky, “does nature takes its revenge?”
She drove her car to the hotel. The broken heart, shattered soul, stiff and cold body, and many bad memories, she has entered into the hotel room, which was already booked by her company. She opened her suitcase. The luck was not in her favor again. Her clothes were icy cold because she left her luggage in the car. She thoughts, “No, it is not the bad deal. I can keep the clothes under the warm blanket while taking a shower”.
It is time for her medicine. Her tears started to drip outside of eyes as she opened the bottle because the capsule was also frozen and cringed to each other. She could break the tablet easily. she tries to separate them. She has two options: break it and taste the bitterness, which may burn her esophagus or not to take the medicine. She knows well the consequences not to take the medicine. She won’t able to take a step without feeling a shock wave in her brain. The shocking wave comes so severe like hundreds of voltage of electrical waves pass through her mind, which gives her so uncomfortable feelings and causes severe vomiting. She has chosen to have a bitter taste of medicine. She scarped the capsule from each other and swallowed the seeds of medicine, which almost made her vomit.
She did not know when she slept. However, she remembers driving back to the work where she emailed her blogger colleague to alert her about the virus. The woman worked another 12hrs. She was busy at work, but sadness often comes around her mind. Something could happen wrong. As usual, her soul tells her, “something is not right somewhere.” Her mind was going back and forth toward him, but she has kept herself strong. She is away from her home because she is being punished, which she has accepted it.
She came into her room. Suddenly her phone rings and her little daughter was crying,” I miss you. I want you to go home now”. She convinced her daughter, “I would come in tomorrow.” She did some face-time with her daughter until her daughter went to sleep. She came out of her room, and her daughter’s words were screaming in her head, “Mom, come home. I am sorry that you have to live for me. I read in your diary that you are keeping yourself alive for me only”. She had lie to her daughter, “No, I am happy. I am enjoying my life”.
The woman suddenly picked up the phone to curse him. Instead of cursing him, “working 4.5 hrs away from my home, thanks to you. My daughter is crying home alone. I could not help her…………….” etc
She could not curse him. His act of cowardness is making her suffer today. She could not ask him to tell the truth why he had made this decision. Why she should ask? why he had made this decision?. The woman laughed hysterically and said, “I know the reality. It is not a matter of dumping someone. God knows who is using who and why? Why he had made this decision?”
The woman could not curse her love and her loving man because she knows what steps he has taken and why he has taken. The bodies live in a different part of the world, but the souls are still together, and the brain still knows the actions of each other.
The woman could not curse the man, but she needs to blame somebody for her suffering, so she said, “There is no God. There is no Allah and Babaji. I am suffering so long. My Ramadan and Halaal are continued for a long time now. Why God has not answered her prayers and resolved her suffering? There is no God, so how he could respond”.
Do you know which phase of the grieving, the woman is in now?