The Solo Tree On Roadside

Her anxiety has increased. She feels restless because there is no way to communicate with him. She thinks writing on the blog was the only way to communicate with him. She cannot do anything now. Her blood pressure continues to rise. The nurse noticed her being restless, so she asked if she needed any medication for relaxation.
She asks for a computer and her phone. “No, I don’t need medication. I need to write something. Can I have my computer or phone? I need to reach my beloved man”.
She is emotional and tearful. Her lips are shivering. The nurse looked at her and went back to the nursing station.
After a few minutes, the nurse returned, and she gave her a bunch of papers, a pen, and cardboard.
She tells the nurse, “Thank you for being kind to me. You are a wonderful person”.
She started to write on the paper, “I will write it now, but I will post later. My bubby will read it later. Does he care anymore if I am dying or alive? He doesn’t care if I am suffering. I will continue to keep the promise until my last breath. I will continue writing to him”.
As she started to write, her anxiety started to go down. Tears start to weld into her eyes which have become a permanent part of her life. But, she is happy to see her thumb moving. She is excited to hold a pen between her thumb and index finger. She has often raised her hand to show the nurse, “I can hold the pen tightly.”
The nurse shows her a sign of victory. The symbol of success brings her back to the past life, how she had fought each battle alone, and finally, he had come to defeat her. Sometimes, not taking action could also cause severe damage. She does not want to leave her past. She remembers everything. She can recall everything that has happened in the past. It doesn’t matter if she always forgets what has happened in the last two minutes.
She wants to remember her past for many reasons. One reason is her painful past will keep her away from others. She will never trust anybody, and she will never fall in love with anybody. A person makes a mistake only once. Repeated errors are called stupidity. So she thinks her continuation of pain/suffering is his punishment.
Suddenly, she looks at the roadside tree. The tree is standing solo away from the rest of the tree line. This tree has been helping her a lot since last year. For others, it is just a tree. But for her, this solo tree is a road map and a reminder sign. This tree tells her to be ready to make a left turn in the next 300 meters. Otherwise, she will never be able to go back home. She often forgets her way back because she is too busy remembering him.
The tree doesn’t have any leaves now because of the cold. Does this tree have the same luck as me? This tree is my road map. Am I his last road map of creating more Saras? Or he will continue to create more Sara like me. This is the other reason she wants to keep her wound fresh.
She often thinks, “I doubt my bubby could create many Sara’s. She was lying to me. She played a game with me. Has he taken bribery? or was it also a trick to create a gap or make her a puppet?”

It does not matter anymore. The woman is defeated, but her love has conquered. She has lost her beloved man. She doesn’t have feelings left anymore.

“Itna tersay kay ab toh pyas hi chali gye”

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