The curiosity and the pain

The pain compels her to ask questions from others. The curiosity to know the facts makes her ask questions from others. Why? Does this true?. Her curiosity leads her to the questions which give her more pain.
Why did this happen to me? Why he abandoned me when he knew well how I could be shattered without him? Those unsolved questions continue to hit my soul with the hammer. Why my pain has not gone away? Does his soul is attached to my soul from the previous life? Why don’t I have the desire to move forward? Did my mom was right about him?
Why I sometimes become so restless? Why do I feel emptiness? Why I feel so sad and depressed. Did almighty has sent him to severed my soul? Even I try to bring some humor but my soul is so sad. Should I have hidden everything? Could I have been the happiest person? Should I become just like others to use and abuse? should I have left them to die alone?

Could I have behaved in the same manner to him if I were in his shoes? No, I would have never acted like him. I would never act like him. I keep my words, which doesn’t matter what price I have to pay. What could be my reaction if one of the children would do this to someone? How my parents could have reacted if I had done the same thing?

The khan who was known as a freedom fighter who had gone to almighty a few years back. How he should have reacted to my pain and tears. One of his sons has told me that our father could have knocked at my bubby’s door to ask in front of everyone, “why have you come to the field if you were not enough strong to fight back.” I had said right away, “the khan father had similar thoughts like me.”
It does not matter to get someone with force. It is a matter of trust, love, and feelings. It is the matter of a broken soul that continues to break every day. It is the matter of her life that has ended without him. It is a matter of feelings of a human who wants to be get treated like a human being. It could be overacting for others, but she knows how important this matter to her. He is not only the love of her life but also means everything to her. Once, She had started her world with him. Now, she has lost in the space without him. Her mind has trapped in her own body. The brain is busy finding answers to those questions. Her soul continues to wait for him. Often she feels doomed into her own body. She thinks that her love, body, and her beliefs are buried alive into the graveyard. Does it matter anymore?

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