The Day of Ashes: Wednessday Ash


She overhead announcement that today is a day of ashes. The father will be in the main lobby between 10-11AM. She did not know what is meant. Wednesday was a Christian Day of Ashes. Her colleague has told what is a meant of ashes day. The colleague explained her that, “This is a day of repentance when Christians confess their sins and profess their devotion to God. The chaplain places the ashes on a worshiper’s forehead in the shape of a cross”.

The father of the catholic church has come to her workplace for this good day. She knows him a very well.  The father had done the prayer for her in the past when she was running around in her semi-conscious mind.

There was a long line, but she did not care about the long line. “I need to go first. I am not allowed to leave the ER. We take the priority so move away”. Everyone has looked at her as they were asking, “are u catholic?”. That is her, and everyone knows it is hard to stop her. She breaks the rule. All ED staff members continue to follow her.

She asked the father, “I don’t know what to confess or repent. but I need blessings. I need my bubby back. I just have done the sin breaking the long line, but I doubt anybody mind it because they know I need to be inside the ED. The last year, I had killed a beautiful deer.  Can you make a nice looking cross on my forehead, please?”. The father has smiled and asked if she wants to repent or confess her sins.

She is loud,” yes, I have done sins of speaking truth. I am paying the price of it already.  I am hurting a lot. Father believe me that I will never talk about the truth. I love my man. Is it a sin to love my man? I love my soul love. I will do this sin again and again. I will suffer for my sins. I am not ashamed of loving him. I am proud of my love. I promise that I won’t become a puppet either”.

She cries while talking to father. First, some people have laughed at her conversation, but later, everyone’s eyes get wet with the tears. She was loud enough to confess.

She has told the father, “I am devoted to almighty already. He knows well”.

She touches her heart, “almighty lives here. I don’t know if he is Allah or Jesus or Ram or Babaji. But they are mine. Then my bubby comes after Almighty”.

She has returned to the ED. Later, the father came to the ED and hold her hand and had done the prayer.

She tells the father, “I am a few more weeks here. I will be gone to another facility, but I will come to visit you”.

Suddenly, she heard an announcement about the code blue in the lobby.  A gunshot wound patient has hit the main lobby door with his car.  She runs to rescue them and talking loudly to the father, “I think somebody needs blessings than me at this time.”

She runs toward the main lobby. The rest of the team brought the code cart to the lobby. She sees a young man drenched with the blood lying down on the floor. He was breathing hard, and he was actively bleeding from the wound. Before she reached the patient, ED technician who is also a marine cop told her, “wait, the scene is not clear.” He went ahead of her and pushed the loaded gun away from the patient with his feet. The patient told them his father is also wounded and is in the car.

There was no time taking him to the ED. The local cops, DEA agents, and the SWAT team and Gang Task Force had arrived until now. The main lobby was looking like a war zone. The hospital security had moved all the public away from the scene. One of the cops told her,” There is an active shooting in progress, and we are expecting more casualty. The hospital was locked down until further notice. Nobody can leave or enter the facility.

There was a danger that other gang members could follow those victims.

She did not care. Next thing, she had sat on the floor and started to intubate the patient while the trauma team lead nurse was trying to apply the pressure on the bleeding site. She saw that the other team had taken another victim to the ED. The trauma doc had not arrived yet. She had to make her decision solo. The hard-core professionalism came inside of her automatically. Each second was valuable. Each second had felt like an hour long. Intubation was not enough for this patient. He also required surgery right away. Before the trauma doc reached, she had already inserted the chest tube while the nurse had started autotransfuion.

One of the cops was standing next to her. She could hear the police radio. There was also an active shooting in progress at Milwaukie. Less than 20 minutes, everything was done, but she felt that she had run a 20 miles long marathon. The trauma doc had taken the patient directly to the OR, but she still sat on the floor. One of the cops helped her to get out of the floor. She ran toward the ER now.

She saw her partner struggling to intubate the patient. CPR was in progress. The patient was obese and having a hard time securing the airway while chest compression was in progress. Teamwork was vital in this situation. Her senior doc is very well trained, but nobody could fight with the decision of God. Two teams failed to save the other patient. The internal med doc also had stood outside the door of the trauma room. The anesthesiologist had arrived in the ER helping us to intubate the patient.  The charge nurse had started to call the on-call staff in case we get more victims. The other local hospital’s ICU unit is closed, so all ambulances had been directed to our hospital.

In the end, the son was saved, and the father had lost the battle of life.

However, the hard part was still pending. Her partner and she looked at each other who will do the hard part of the job. Both had decided to do this hard job together. The father was still there, so he accompanied them. As we entered the quiet room, the woman in her early 50’s had sat on the chair with many other relatives. The hospital was still locked down. Who will tell the woman that she had lost her husband, and her son is in a critical shape battling for his life at another side of the hospital in the OR.

She has sat next to the woman and told her, “Your son is in good hands. The trauma surgeon will talk to you soon. Your son is in critical condition, but he is safe”. The woman has looked at them but could not speak a word. They had apologized for her loss. She looked at the woman and thought in her mind,” what this woman thinking now who just have lost her husband and her son is fighting with the life.” However, the father and social worker were there to support the family.

As she walked toward the trauma room, she thoughts, “nobody could fight with the desire of God. We can try, but the final decision is done by Almighty”.

The entire team came together to review the whole event. Everybody had done excellent performance. Everybody had gone to do their next assignment. Life goes on. However, her mind was like this, “what the heck going on with this world. Why people kill each other? Why people take somebody’s life? Is it money necessary or a human being? Which direction our society is leaning? Why we hurt each other? Far away in her native country, people are killing each other due to racism and religion. Here, people are killing each other for drugs. It is an act of cowardliness. The terrorists of the society are everywhere. Some places they play the dirty game of politics or religions, and somewhere they play with the drugs. Human does not have any value. It does not matter who, where, and why playing. All of them are the terrorist of the society. It does not matter if they kill somebody with a gun or drugs. As she walked toward the trauma room, she thoughts, “nobody could fight with the desire of God. We can just try but the final decision is done by Almighty”.


2 thoughts on “The Day of Ashes: Wednessday Ash

  1. Hmmm. Your experience and my own recent one with the mugger really say something to me. As individuals and a world, we have a choice between life or death, hope or despair. It often feels like we’ve reached a point where so many have made the wrong choice that all is lost. I was thinking this just this morning — wishing we could run away to a place of peace.

    But, even one brave woman or man or a child can choose life and hope when all hell is breaking loose. You are such a woman, Munna Sara. God has marked you as His. Ask Him to give you the strength to help others choose life in spite of themselves. Many blessings on your work!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Nora. Ur blessings always work for me. Yes, I have Almighty’s hand on my head who always protect me. I wonder why I stand up again after falling badly. Do I need a humankind to live? It is era of darkness. People have forgotten the path of humanity. Thank you


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