The heart is not for donation

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Blood pressure has gone up, and the current medications failed to control it. Today, her eyes are blinking more than usual. She doesn’t have any other symptoms. She has received a letter stating a report to her other job. Since her life-threatening car accident more than 5 years ago, she was not physically clear about doing that job. In the past, she was physically cleared but not psychologically. She is now psychologically cleared but not physically cleared to do her particular job, which is her favorite job.

She called the neurosurgeon, “Afjal, something is not right.” It is hard to find a non-grumpy and intelligent neurosurgeon in the medical world. However, she has been lucky enough to be working with this gentleman for the past 10 years. She had never seen him but had spoken with him many times on the phone for professional consultation regarding her patients’ care in the emergency room. Almost two years ago, she talked to him for personal favors because her daughter wanted to pursue her career in neuropsychology and neuroscience when she grew up. So, Afzal helped her daughter on the school career day. She never thought of being his patient.

Yes, she sustained neurological injuries. She was sick psychologically and physically, which had done some significant damage. She left her high blood pressure untreated for a long time, which has led to neurological and cardiac problems. Who knows what has caused her to have high blood pressure? Everyone blamed the stress and psychological trauma. She always refused to get treatment for her physical injuries because the pain helped to control her emotional pain. 

The last time she went to see Afzal, he was very straightforward, ”control your blood pressure. You need to schedule your surgery to be done as soon as possible or be ready to get some permanent damage. You need the surgery now to prevent further injuries”. He called her primary care doctor and advised adding an additional two blood pressure medications. The goal is to keep it below 160/90, but her blood pressure is stubborn enough not to go lower than 180/110. Her primary care doctor, who is also her good friend, always looks for reasons to pull her ears.

She thought it would be good to add more medicine to her current regimen, so she laughed, “I don’t need my dinner either. Tummy will be full with a hand full of pills”.

She postponed my surgery and said. ” both my PCP and surgeon can’t kidnap me to do my surgery. I am still stronger than them.”

Before she left the office, ”can you sign this letter.” Afzal looked at her, ”I will when your body supports your head and neck. You are lucky to only do your medical job”. He grabbed the letter from her hands and wrote, ‘not cleared’ in the capital letters.

She still stood there. Afzal asked her, “Can I do anything else for you? Don’t make my job harder than it is now”.

She nodded,” can you do me one favor if you could not do your job properly. I mean, if I die, which I doubt is possible. I will give you a number to call if I die to make someone happy. Otherwise, not to disturb anyone.”

She told him again, ” I am a suitable organ donor with a rare blood group. Everything is for donation except my heart. Make sure nobody takes my heart away. Leave it in so it can be buried with me”.

In May, she scheduled her surgery,” I promise not to forget about my surgery. I promise to call you if symptoms get worse”.

She shook his hand and left the office.

On the way home, she thought in her mind, ”my heart belongs to only one person. I donated my heart to him many years ago. It is broken into millions of pieces now, and his name is written on each piece. Somebody else would reject my heart right away, so my heart is not for the donation. My heart will be buried with me. Of course, there will be only one name written on it”.

8 thoughts on “The heart is not for donation

  1. Monday blessings, Munna Sara. Just read this one today. I hope all is going well with your heart and BP. It’s always something, isn’t it? It must be middle age, but I am just thankful to see the dawn light each morning. 🙂


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