The heart is not for donation

Blood pressure is gone up which is not controlled with the current medications. Today, her eyes are blinking more than usual. She doesn’t have any other symptoms. She has received the letter in the mail which stating report to her other job. Since, her life threatening car accident more than 5 year ago, she was not physically clear to do that job. Once, she was physically cleared, she was not psychologically cleared. Now, she is psychologically cleared but not physically cleared to do her special job which she loves doing.

She called the neurosurgeon,”Afjal, something is not right”. The nice and non grumpy neurosurgeon is hard to find in the medical world. However, she was lucky being working with this gentleman since past 10 years. She never seen him but spoken with him many times on the phone regarding her patients’ care in the emergency room. Almost two year ago, she talked to him for the personal favors because her daughter want pursue her career in a neuro psychologically and neuroscience when grown up. Of course Afjal helped her daughter on the school career day. She never thought being his patient.

Yes, she suffered neurological injuries. She was not only sick psychologically but was also physically which have done some significant damage. She left her high blood pressure untreated for a long time which had led to both neurological and some cardiac problem. Who knows what have caused her to have a high blood pressure? Everyone had blamed the stress and psychological trauma. She always refused to get treatment for her physical injuries because the pain has helped her to control her emotional pain. 

She went to see Afjal. He was very straightforward, ”control your blood pressure  and have your surgery has as soon as possible, or be ready to get some permanent damage. Or I need to take you the surgery now to prevent further injuries”. He called her primary care doctor and advised adding additional two blood pressure medications. The goal is to keep below 160/90 but her blood pressure is stubborn enough not to go lower than 180/110. Susan her primary care doctor just need a reason to pull her ears.

She thought that is good adding more medicine to my current regimen, “I don’t need to my dinner either. Tummy will be full with the hand full of pills”.

She continuing to postpone my surgery. ” both my pcp and surgeon can’t kidnap me to do it. I am still stronger than them”

Before she left the office, ”can you sign this letter”. Afjal looked at her, ”I will when your body start supporting your head and neck. You are lucky to do your medical job only”. He grabbed the letter from her hands and wrote in the capital letters, ‘not cleared’.

She still stood there. Afjal asked her, ” Can I do anything else for you. Don’t make my job harder than now”.

She nodded,” can you do one favor for me if you could not do your job properly. I mean if I die which I doubt is possible. I will give you a number to call in case I die to make someone happy. Otherwise, not to disturb anyone”

She told him again, ”i am a suitable organ donor with a rare blood group. Everything is for donation except my heart. Make sure nobody takes my heart away. Leave it in to do burial with me”.

She scheduled her surgery in May,” I promise to not forget about my surgery. I also promise to call you if symptoms are getting worse”.

She shook his hand and left the office.

On the way to home, she thought in her mind, ” my heart belong to only one person. I have donated my heart to him many years ago. It is a broken now in millions pieces and on each piece his name is written. Somebody else body would reject my heart right away, so my heart is not for the donation. My heart will be buried with me. Of course, there will be only one name on it but everywhere”.