The Motherhood

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The little girl always enjoyed the company of her mother. Her mother was a very traditional and strict woman. Her mother was a very beautiful woman. Her little mind often thought, “I could be beautiful like her, but I am just a female version of my father. Why people look at the reflection and personality of my father in me instead of my mother’s”. 

The girl often got tired after playing all day long. At night time, she always told her mother, “Mum, Mum, I cannot sleep. my legs hurt a lot”. Mother yelled back at her, “This is why I always tell you not to jump and play all the time. So deal with it”. However, the motherhood had always wakened within a couple of minutes, “Okay, keep your legs on me, and your pain will go away”. The girl would keep both legs on her mother, and mother slowly massaging the girl’s feet until she fell into the sleep. The next morning, the girl always told her mother, “Mum, Mum, pain was gone. You are my magical mom”. 

The little girl was not only a year old when she was almost near to die. The girl’s father was abroad. Therefore, the mother took the little girl everywhere. Her mother often had cried, “God, why had you given a child to me in the old age? Please, don’t take it away from me. I love this little soul who brings the smile on everybody’s face”. The medical science had failed to cure the little girl and was sent home to die in peace. But motherhood not given up yet. She went to the shrine of Muslim Peer to beg for her daughter’s life. The mother heard from the local people about the myth that your desire would fulfill if you walk to the holy shrine early morning without your shoes for six weeks”. The girl’s mother was not a Muslim and did not have any faith in Islam. However, her motherhood had taken her to this path that she walked every day to the shrine in the cold and snowy weather for six weeks. The god’s miracle, shrine’s power, or the power of motherhood, the girl survived.

Now the same girl had become a mum of a son. The girl was not fully grown up yet so the motherhood did not come right away in her heart. She slept right away after delivering her son prematurely at 28 weeks of gestation after complication of pregnancy. She woke up from the sleep, after receiving the new title of being a mother. She asked her beautiful mother-in-law, “mom, can you be kind enough to give me something to eat? I am so hungry. Give me all types of food which I could not eat for the past 7 months”. Her mom-in-law smiled and rubbed the girl’s hair, “of course, look at your son”. The girl looked at her premature born son who did not the hair on his eyes and head. She looked at the boy while half asleep, “Oh my bald son, let me beat your buttock first. You did not let eat me for 28 weeks”. 

Suddenly the girl looks at her newborn son and told her mom-in law, “he doesn’t look like me. He is so white. He looks like his father. I don’t like it all. Can you believe it, mom, I could not able to eat for 7 months, and he chose to look like his father”. The girl kissed the newborn’s head and told him, “Promise me that you better behave like me”. Mom-in-law heard the conversation and told the girl, “I have good news for you”. The girl looked at the medical record and started to scream in happiness, “Oh, thank you, God”. The medical record had shown that the newborn boy had rare O negative blood which is also the girl’s blood group. The girl could not wait to tell her father. She called her father on the phone, “Dad, my little bald head boy has an O negative group” The girl started to cry after telling the news and could not talk further. The girl’s father had also an O negative blood group.  How many times, the girl’s parents had to listen to others for not having a boy. Even, her aunt (father’s sister) had always cried that who would carry the name of the family. The fake old Indian tradition that the only boy takes the ancestor’s name. The girl’s father never believed in those myths. Neither her mom and chachu, they had raised the little girl with the bundles of love.

After giving birth to her son, the girl laughed, “I just have given birth to the future generation of my ancestors. Why people think only boys are the future of any dynasty”. 

She and her bald boy had grown up together. Later, she had given birth to the beautiful daughter. The girl looked like her but with the blood group of B positive. Time had passed. The girl had become a widow and mother now. The girl had become a lone fighter, but she did not know when the motherhood came inside of her. She never felt it but everyone said she is a great mother. Now, it was her turn to tell his son, “keep your legs on me, so your pain would go away”. Her son always busy playing and told her the same things, “Mom, my legs hurt”. She did not yell at him. She used to smile. How the little kid would know how hard it is being a single mom, full-time job, and full-time student without any single support. She smiled when her son always said, “mom, pain is gone”.

She slept in the middle of her both kids and she had kept a mini-fridge next to her bed.

 Her daughter asked for milk or water every 2-3 hrs, otherwise, she won’t sleep all night. She did not want to waste the time by walking downstairs to get water or milk in the middle of the night.  So mini-fridge helped her to get 3 -4 hours of sleep. 

The marriage to her kids’ father was just an agreement. But her motherhood toward her children was the reality.  Her real love was hidden somewhere in the beautiful valley for away from her. She worshiped, waited, and trusted man that he won’t ever leave her alone. Her feeling of motherhood slowly starts to die when her dear hubby abandoned her. The reason was very clear. She believed in a relationship, but her hubby did not take a second to break it. Now, she lost belief in the relationship. She is not the same person. She is a creation of her hubby. This new of her doesn’t believe in love and relationship. Does her behavior impact the entire family? Yes, It did. How the feelings of motherhood would come when she had lost belief in everyone. The love for her man is just the same as everyone does to Allah, Ram, Rahim, Jesus, or Babaji. Won’t you lost the trust or love or relationship, or interest in anything if your almighty abandon you?

Today, she writes to her loving man who is somewhere in the valley, “Boy is gone from my life forever today. He deserves his life. The girl will be gone at the end of this year. I am not selfish, but they decided to take care of me. They are not responsible to take care of me. My motherhood was starting to go slowly away when you abandoned me. Do you know who is responsible for this? don’t blame me as you always do. You have created me so take some responsibility”.

Yes, she is not a great mom anymore. Nobody is here to salute her. Neither her motherhood feelings for children nor her love for her hubby was fake. It was real but the reality has been taken away from her. She emails her lawyer and tells him, “Divide everything mine into 4 equal portions after my death. Both kids, my hubby, and the 4th portion to the dog’s shelter for the behalf of my Banny will take an equal share. I like to treat my four thieves the same way which does not matter if they talk or chat or visit me or not.

“Only mothers know if motherhood could ever die. Only true lovers know if the love for their partners ever dies. Only a few could answer to these questions who had just similar experiences like her,  or someone walks on a similar path of her somewhere in a different direction”.

 Her daughter asked for milk or water every 2-3 hrs, otherwise, she won’t sleep all night. She did not want to waste the time by walking downstairs to get water or milk in the middle of the night.  so mini-fridge helped her to get 3 -4 hours of sleep. 

The marriage to her kids’ father was just an agreement. But her motherhood toward her children was the reality.  Her real love was hidden somewhere in the beautiful valley for away from her. The man she worshiped, waited, and trusted that he won’t leave her alone. Her feeling of motherhood slowly starts to die when her dear hubby abandoned her. The reason was very clear. She believed in a relationship, but her hubby did not take a second to break it. Now, she lost belief in the relationship. She is not the same person. She is a creation of her hubby. This new of her doesn’t believe in love and relationship. Does her behavior impact the entire family? Yes, It did. How the feelings of motherhood would come when she had lost belief in everyone. The love for her man is just the same as everyone does to Allah, Ram, Rahim, Jesus, or Babaji. Won’t you lost the trust or love or relationship, or interest in anything if your almighty abandon you?

Today, she writes to her loving man who somewhere in the valley, “Boy is gone from my life forever today. He deserves his life. The girl will be gone at the end of this year. I am not selfish, but they decided to take care of me. They are not responsible to take care of me. My motherhood was starting to go slowly away when you abandoned me. Do you know who is responsible for this? don’t blame me as you always do. You have created me so take some responsibility”.

Yes, she is not a great mom anymore. Nobody is here to salute her. Neither her motherhood feelings for children nor her love for her hubby was fake. It was real but the reality has been taken away from her. She emails her lawyer and tells him, “Divide everything mine into 4 equal portions after my death. Both kids, my hubby, and the 4th portion to the dog’s shelter for the behalf of my Banny will take an equal share. I like to treat my four thieves the same way which does not matter if they talk or chat or visit me or not”.

Does she proud of it? Does her mother living in hell or heaven proud of it? Does it really happen in the real world? How a mother could do this? Yes, it is the late effects of abandonment. Everything happens when their fear of losing sits deep under your soul. It happens when your soul has abandoned you. It happens when you see pain and tiredness on your children’s faces because of you. The person starts to abandon things or relationships when she or his part of the soul has abandoned. It happens when someone become a selfish.  It happens you start walking on your loved one path to see how his path is good or worse than yours. Or it could be just when someone’s emotion gets so badly she refuses to let anybody else to hurt her emotions anymore.

“Only mothers know if motherhood could ever die. Only true lovers know if the love for their partners ever dies”. Only a few could answer to these questions who had just similar experiences like her,  or someone walks on a similar path of her somewhere in a different direction”.

3 thoughts on “The Motherhood

  1. 🙂 The mini fridge by the bed is an amazing idea for moms of young kids!

    I suspect all the mom feelings will come back around when you have grandchildren someday. Mothering really goes through a lot of seasons. Our daughters are teens right now. They need me and don’t need me at the same time!

    Have a blessed weekend!

    Liked by 1 person

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