The Motherhood

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The little girl always enjoyed the company of her mother. However, her beautiful mother was a very traditional and strict woman. Her little mind often thought, “I could be beautiful like her, but I am just a female version of my father. Why do people look at the reflection and personality of my father in me instead of my mother’s”. 

The girl often got tired after playing all day long. At night time, she always told her mother, “Mum, Mum, I cannot sleep. my legs hurt a lot”. Mother yelled back at her, “This is why I always tell you not to jump and play. So deal with it”. However, motherhood had always awakened within a couple of minutes, “Okay, keep your legs on me, and your pain will go away.” The girl would keep both legs on her mother, and the mother slowly massaged the girl’s feet until she fell asleep. The girl always told her mother the next morning, “Mum, Mum, the pain was gone. You are my magical mom”. 

The little girl was not only a year old when she almost died. The girl’s father was abroad. Therefore, the mother took the little girl everywhere. Her mother often cried, “God, why had you given a child to me in the old age? Please don’t take it away from me. I love this little soul who brings a smile to everybody’s face”. Medical science failed to cure the little girl, and she was sent home to die in peace. But her mother has not given up yet. She went to the shrine of Muslim Peer to beg for her daughter’s life. The mother heard from the local people about the myth that your desire would be fulfilled if you walked to the holy shrine in the early morning without your shoes for six weeks”. The girl’s mother was not a Muslim and did not have any faith in Islam. However, her motherhood had taken her to this path where she walked every day to the shrine in the cold and snowy weather for six weeks. With God’s miracle, shrine’s power, or the power of motherhood, the girl survived.

Now the same girl had become a mum of a son. The girl was not fully grown up yet, so motherhood did not come right away in her heart. She slept right after delivering her son prematurely at 28 weeks of gestation due to a high-risk pregnancy. She woke up from her sleep after receiving the new title of being a mother. She asked her beautiful mother-in-law, “mom, can you be kind enough to give me something to eat? I am so hungry. Give me all types of food which I could not eat for the past 7 months”. Her mom-in-law smiled and rubbed the girl’s hair, “of course, look at your son.” The girl looked at her premature-born son, who did not have hair on his eyes and head. While half asleep, she looked at the boy, “Oh, my bald son, let me beat your buttock first. You did not let me eat for 28 weeks”. 

Suddenly the girl looked at her newborn son and told her mom-in-law, “he doesn’t look like me. He is so white. He looks like his father. I don’t like it all. Can you believe it, mom, I could not be able to eat for 7 months, and he has chosen to look like his father”. The girl kissed the newborn’s head and told him, “Promise me that you better behave like me.” Mom-in-law heard the conversation and handed a piece of paper to the girl, “I have good news for you. Read it carefully.”

The girl looked at the medical record and started to scream in happiness, “Oh, thank you, God.” Medical records had shown that the newborn boy had rare O negative blood, which is also the girl’s blood group. The girl could not wait to tell her father. She called her father on the phone, “Dad, my little bald head boy has an O negative group” The girl started to cry after telling the news to his father and could not talk further. The girl’s father also had an O-negative blood group. The girl’s parents often had to listen to others for not having a boy. Even her aunt (father’s sister) had always cried that no male heir would carry the family’s name. The fake old Indian tradition is that the only boy takes the ancestor’s name. The girl’s father never believed in those myths. Neither her mom nor chachu, they had raised the little girl with the bundles of love.

After giving birth to her son, the girl laughed, “I just have given birth to the future generation of my ancestors. Why do people think only boys are the future of any dynasty”. 

She and her bald boy had grown up together. Later, she gave birth to a beautiful daughter. The girl looked like her but with a blood group of B positive. After some time. The girl had become a widow. She had become a lone fighter, but she did not know when motherhood came inside her. She never felt it, but everyone said she was a great mother. Now, it was her turn to tell his son, “keep your legs on me, so your pain would disappear.” Her son was always busy playing and told her the same things, “Mom, my legs hurt.” She did not yell at him. She used to smile. How would the little kid know how hard it is to be a single mom, full-time job, and full-time student without any single support? She smiled when her son always said, “mom, the pain is gone.”

She slept in the middle of both of her kids, and she had kept a mini-fridge next to her bed because her daughter asked for milk or water every 2-3 hrs; otherwise, she wouldn’t sleep all night. Also, she did not want to waste time walking downstairs to get water or milk in the middle of the night.  So the mini-fridge helped her to get 3 -4 hours of sleep. 

The marriage to her kids’ father was just an agreement. But motherhood toward her children was a reality, responsibility, and dedication.  Her real love was hidden somewhere in the beautiful valley away from her. She waited, worshiped, and trusted her beloved man that he wouldn’t ever leave her alone. Her feeling of motherhood slowly started to die when her dear hubby abandoned her. The reason was very clear. She believed in a relationship, but her hubby did not take a second to break it. Now, she has lost belief in the relationship. She is not the same person. She is a creation of her hubby. Her new version doesn’t believe in love and relationships. Does her behavior impact the entire family? Yes, it did. How the feelings of motherhood would come when she had lost belief in everyone. The love for her man is just as everyone has it for Allah, Ram, Rahim, Jesus, or Babaji. Won’t you lose the trust, love, relationship, or interest in anything if your almighty abandon you?

Today, she writes to her beloved man somewhere in the valley, “Boy is gone from my life forever today. He deserves his life. The girl will be gone at the end of this year. I am not selfish, but they decided to take care of me. However, they are not responsible for taking care of me. My motherhood started to die slowly when you abandoned me. Do you know who is responsible for this? Don’t blame me as you always do. You have created me so take some responsibility”.

Yes, she is not a great mom anymore. Nobody is here to salute her. Neither her motherhood feelings for children nor her love for her hubby was fake. It was real, but the reality had taken everything away from her. She emails her lawyer and tells him, “Divide everything into 4 equal portions. Both kids, my hubby, and the 4th portion to the dog’s shelter on behalf of my Banny will get an equal share after my death. I like to treat my four thieves the same way, which does not matter if they talk or chat or visit me or not.

“Only mothers know if motherhood could ever die. Only true lovers know if the love for their partners ever dies. Only a few could answer these questions which had similar experiences like her,  or someone walks on a similar path to her somewhere in a different direction”.

3 thoughts on “The Motherhood

  1. 🙂 The mini fridge by the bed is an amazing idea for moms of young kids!

    I suspect all the mom feelings will come back around when you have grandchildren someday. Mothering really goes through a lot of seasons. Our daughters are teens right now. They need me and don’t need me at the same time!

    Have a blessed weekend!

    Liked by 1 person

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