Certain things are hard to digest, one of them is an ugly truth. Some people face the ugly truth and some run away to face the truth. Some become deaf, mute, and blind as nothing has happened around him. These types of people are selfish people. They are taught to run away when the problem comes. Their soul is dead and they are emotionally handicapped. Some face like with fight against the ugly reality.
Yes, the woman had faced the truth. She had kept the promise. She took responsibility for her actions. She did what a person supposed to do. She did what she was taught to do. She did pay a huge price which nobody could do it unless you are doing for someone whom you love or care.
The woman fought solo and she continues to fight without consequences. It has broken her completely but she did not give up. She is always an alone fighter, so she doesn’t look for someone’s help. Once, she went looking for help from her own people but she had returned home with an ugly truth. The truth she hid in her subconscious mind that she had nobody in this world. The man who was her soul hubby was not his anymore. Many times he claimed to be her Abu mom sister father brother friend everything. Of course, he did everything for her when the days were good. Then. All relationships were gone. So who would come to help the woman,” she was not anybody’s wife anymore, she was not anybody’s sister, daughter or a friend”.
She was only a mother whose motherhood emotions were also taken away because she lost trust. She loves and trusts only one person. Well, she doesn’t trust him anymore. She wonders why love is still there.
Often she scratches her head why people get happy for the fake victory. Sometimes a person makes a choice that is best for them. The second person gets so happy and excited,” oh he or she has chosen me over you”. Seriously, use the brain to find out why the person made this choice.
There is a reason when the person doesn’t want to find out the ugly truth because they are so weak to face it.
People talk and act differently. I called it two faces. Each picture has two faces. People had many different personalities. The woman is more emotional compared to men. Women cannot hide a single thing but men could hide a mountain of emotions inside of them.
People say women think with her heart and men think with the brain to take some decision. some emotional decisions. It does not matter women are smarter than men. Women carry additional hormones that could be the reason.
The woman’s therapist asked her today, “why you not ready to move on”.the woman laughs first then cry because my Ramadan has started more than a year ago which is continued to the date. My halal is continued which is also started more than a year ago. My pain is hidden but it still continued to throb and pulsate deep down like lava. My soul continues to suffer. My love and feelings are the same which was more than a year ago. Neither intensity of pain nor love has lessened. So how I supposed to move forward.
The woman sighed and restarted to talk with her therapist,” the love of my life is still in trouble. He is not completely safe yet. The list of sins and bribery is longer than my love. But my love is stronger than that list. I will keep my promise until my last breath. I had given up everything. No, I cannot go back now. I can’t just forget him while enemies are hidden close to him with the list of evidence. Yes, he will be in trouble soon so someone should be there to support when he will be alone wondering what I should do. No, I won’t go close to him anymore. I love looking at him from the distance. Time will come and reality will come out soon. No, he is enough strong to face the ugly truth”.
A painful smile comes on her face. She tells, “no, I don’t need antidepressants anymore. The pain has become permanent which doesn’t have any solution. I really don’t want to smile anymore. Okay, for me to cry and live in pain. I am afraid to smile or laugh. It is not a depression anymore. It is just a fear nothing else. I fear of smiling, I fear of being happy. I am fearful of having any type of relationship. I love my pain and isolation. Of course, I will call you if I feel of being suicidal.”
This was the last therapy session. She just said funny way, “what will be my diagnosis now. PTSD s/p loving someone too much. Persistent emotional pain and phobia are possibly resistant to happy pills.
This was her last psychological therapy.
“Both love and deceive are just the another name of the ugly trut