“The success of Indian children depends on the strength of their mother’s shoes, wooden spatula, wooden stick, and broom”.
How many people are agreed with me for the above statement?
In the USA, it calls child abuse when you hit your child or say something which children don’t like to hear (physical or verbal abuse or emotional abuse). They don’t mind calling the cops within two seconds on their own parents. Some cases are true, and some are painful while some cases are just nothing. Sometimes hard to make a decision if it was really abused or not. The school teachers will call the cops or CPS (Child protective services) if they see any tiny bruise on the children. The CPS and police first bring the children to the emergency room for medical clearance and medical exams and later judge could call us in the court to testify. All this happens in the American world.
Let’s look at my native country. You won’t find any single child in an overpopulated country that has not to get spanked by their parents. The Indian teachers don’t call the police or cps because they also beat the shit out of the students( I don’t know if it happens in the present time). The children don’t take it seriously either. Thank God, otherwise, the jails would be full of the parents. The judges will be only handling the abuse case. All ER physicians will be sitting in the court testifying instead of taking care of the patients. I live in the USA, so I have lost the right to be an Indian parent. I just cry if my children make any mistake. In my home, I am the child and my kids are adults, but they have to follow certain rules. I have set the limit, and they don’t cross it.
However, I did have an Indian mother once. My father had spent most of his time outside abroad, so he did not have experience with this strange loving relationship.
I was a little brat child who loved doing all day long something to give my mother hard time. It did not matter how good a student I was or how good I was in the sports. Mom’s special weapon was always loaded and ready to attack. Indo-Pak army doesn’t keep their weapon ready to attack each other but parents weapon is always ready to fire. My mother tried many times but most of her attack went in the wrong direction. I was a sports girl, so she could not catch me. I also had many safe houses such as my uncle’s house, Abu’s army camp, under my Chachu’s cot or climbing on the tree ( old neem tree in my yard).
Mother did not have the courage of talking in front of my father’s brothers. I knew her weakness so I did not mind taking advantage of it. Both my uncles had spoiled me so instead of saying anything to me, they both had yelled at my mother, “don’t touch the girl otherwise you will end up going back to your parents home”.
My mother blamed my uncles and my father for spoiling me. They were busy blaming each other while I was already on the other mission. I had gone to hide in Abu’s barrack if both of my uncles were not home. Seriously, all they used to laugh after hiding me somewhere. They always lied to my mother when mom asked them if they had seen her daughter. Everyone will say, “no, ma’am we had not seen the kid from a couple of days. They were the army officers, and my mother threatening to beat up her child in front of them.
since mom had gone, they told me to come out of hiding place, “come out kid, Punjab police are gone”.
Two years ago, a young doc whose parents were from Pak had joined our practice. All the nurses started to ask him how he became a doc at so young age. He gave a very simple and realistic answer,” my mother’s shoes helped me”.
A slap comes directly on the cheek automatically without any word if you get A- or B +. Why not straight A’s? My mom went to school only until 5th grade, but she knew the grading system of private school very well. My father completed his higher education outside India, but he never told me what to do or not. I am following my father’s step not to interfere, but I do check children’s grades and remind them friendly,” hey let me know if you need my help”. That is enough for them and they know mother already checked their grade. I may have sitting in prison now if I were using the shoes, spatula or broom or stick.
I had received many degrees and gold medals, silver medals, and distinctive certificates. I got only One B+ in my 12th-grade exam and my mother took this pain of B+ to her grave.
I am not sure if Indian mothers still have the same weapons or changed. Sometimes, I think if it was right. What was my present if mom had not kept her weapon ready all the time?