Her Thoughts About God and Faith

I ask for an apology in advance if my post hurt anybody’s feelings or emotions.


She was born as a Sikh but her fate and faith had taken her to the Islamic world. Neither she goes to the Sikh temple nor to the mosque for the religion prayer. She does not hesitate to stop by a Hindu Temple, church, and Sai Baba Temple, Mosque or Sikh temple. She respects all religious buildings or holy buildings with the same respect as the Golden Temple. She covers her head and takes her shoe off before she enters any holy building or shrine. Most of the time, the people have looked back at her why she does it. She does because she was taught when she was a child. She respects all religions and the faith and their God. However, she has her own theory about God.  She says, “God lives in the people’s heart and soul. God teaches us to be a good human. He does not teach us a war or Jihad”. She thinks God is superior power but she does not hesitate to fight with God either. She blames God when something happens bad. She never forgets to appreciate or thank God when something happens happy or wonderful in her life.

She often tells, “I am here to fight with you. why you have done such a thing”. It does not matter what and where happen in the world.  She does not know who she fights with or praises for, but all she knows there is God. She had suffered many times in the past when people have made their judgment just looking at her name, Sara Altaf Khan. well, they were or are not making a judgment against her. They were making a judgment against her Muslim name which tells her how much people dislike Muslims. All she wants to say the Islam doesn’t teach hate. Neither Islam nor any other religion teaches hate crime or holy war. There are some bad people in each religion who use people’s sentiments for their own selfishness. Those bad people don’t have actually any religion. She won’t call them animals either because she does not want to disrespect her animals. She calls those bad people as evils, demons, and devils. You can find those types of people in each faith. Often, she thinks why we treat people how they look or what they practice. Can we treat each other with respect?

After 911, she was called a terrorist when she responded to an emergency call. she was a paramedic at that time. It was a cardiac emergency. She still remembers a stubborn man refused to get her help because of her look. she laughed, “seriously man, I don’t have a bomb in my ambulance to kill you. I am pretty sure that you would die with the heart attack if I don’t take you to the hospital on time”. Sometimes, she thinks now, “I should tell him that his hate against others would kill him”. Anyway, the patient’s son had asked for an apology. well, it was an emotional time for all Americans or humanity, but it does not allow us to judge somebody. On social media, she often gets some comments which show people’s intellectuality. she used to get angry but not anymore. Now she just tells herself, “let people use their brain if they have one”.

Does color make any different? Does someone’s nationalism make any different? We live in a diverse culture, color, and faith. then why we don’t respect each other?. Are animals better than humankind? She is born in a brown color. She is not a billionaire to medically change her skin color according to the people’s likes or dislikes. she often gets confused being a brown when she stands in the black and white color world. She wants to share some of the interesting events with her fellow bloggers. A white man came to the emergency room along with his father and brother for his chronic back pain and asked her to fill the prescription of Oxycontin and Norco. She refused to write the prescription but offered him a one-time pain reliever while in the ED. The patient told her, “I know you won’t write it because you don’t like white people. You don’t know me. I am a federal agent and go behind your license”. The nurse was also in the room who dispatched the security right away. However, she told the patient, “Which agency you work for, sir. I have their numbers on the speed dial. I can ask if it is okay with them about writing the prescription of the drugs. Don’t threat me being a federal agent. Don’t call me racist or being colorism. Get lost now. Leave my unit before I lose my temper. Next time go somewhere else”.

A one busy night, a black mother brought her 12-year-old beautiful daughter who was suffering from an abscess on her thigh. Not to mention, the mother was drunk who had left the emergency department frequently while telling the nursing staff that she is going to get some fresh air. The nurses did not mind because there was a sober adult relative at the girl’s bedside. The girl was needed a small incision to drain the pus. As she numbed the site, the girl started to cry because of the fear which is very common. She tried to talk to the little girl. suddenly, the mother tried to grab the surgical blade from her hand and said, “Oh let me cut it out, She is my daughter and won’t scared from me. she scared from you because you are a stranger”. She thought, “seriously, how safe is giving a surgical blade to the drunk mother”. she refused but mother started to yell at her, “black lives matters”. Now she has stood confused about how the hick black lives matters have come into this case?. Mother continued to yell at her and calling her, “you don’t like black people”. There was another black woman who was a school teacher was listening to the conversation. The teacher came to ask her, “I am sorry for this. Can I give you a hug? I think you deserve it and you need it” The teacher was observing how hard we were working. She did not mind getting a hug from a stranger because she felt also, “yes, I need it”.

Once, an Indian patient came to the emergency department. She was a lawyer and later she refused to pay the bill because she thought some unnecessary tests were done because the doc was Indian. She thinks, “You have come to the ED complaining chest pain. OF course, I will run the cardiac test. I had forgotten my blessing stick/magic stick back home in India”.

Those are just a few examples that often make her confused for a while. But she always comes out of it easily, “I am a healthcare professional. my job is to provide care which each person deserves on the base of their medical necessity, not on the base of colorism and racism or any isms”.

She was new to the job and the USA. She had never been to anybody’s house before. she responded to the call being a paramedic. she went to somebody’s house with her crew. She saw a bible on the nightstand and a glass of alcohol next to it. She grabbed the bible and cleaned it nicely and looked for a clean and decent place to keep the bible, “I can’t believe. How he could keep the holly book on such a dirty place”.

The rest of the crew and police officers just looked at her, “where the heck you came from”. She thoughts the holy book should be kept at a higher and clean place away from alcohol or food etc as she was taught in the Sikh temple.

Last week, she was in half-sleep sitting on a chair when she heard the noise. She opened her eyes and saw her son was trying to hang the picture of Babaji (Sikh Guruji) on the wall. Somebody had given her a x-mas present who went to see the Golden Temple.

Suddenly she asked the boy, “Have you wash your hands before you touch the picture”. The boy said, “mum, I have just taken the shower”

She was not satisfied, “You need to respect every faith, boy”. It does not matter it is your faith or religion, or not”.

She heard the boy saying, “I am not sure if God exists. My mother should not be sitting on the chair now. My father should not have abused you. The man you love and trust most, should not have abandoned you. instead of sitting on the chair with her crippled mind and broken bones,  my mother should have saving people’s life and lecturing them about their health”.

She asked the boy, “Ask sorry from God right now. You should not disrespect God”.

The boy sat next to him, “I love you, mom.  I am losing faith in God whenever I look at you”.

She hugs her son, “I love you too. It is not God’s fault. It is my fate to suffer. I am born for this. See God has given me a handsome boy”.

The boy has left her room but many questions start to come into her mind.

14 thoughts on “Her Thoughts About God and Faith

  1. Sadly enough, racism and hate exist all over the world. It is people of understanding, like yourself, who realize all lives matter, no matter who. That is a hopeful thing for humanity.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Ironically, only people whose faith is weak or aren’t true believers in the supreme power can be lured into terrorist acts to spread their faith as people who believe in God know that he does not need his children to fight to spread his name by committing heinous acts

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Please don’t mind me stating this, but neither God created us so that we suffer on this planet Earth, nor God himself/herself suffers. This is a big misconception, and I just don’t know why people feel happy about it.


  3. Very much emotional write up. There are people who need to open their small minds instead of their filthy mouths. It’s really weird to hear that people with such small minds exists even after their education. But we should not blame our fate. Everything happens for a reason. You have touched the peak of emotion. Keep going.🤗

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Jesus offered salvation to everyone – all races, ages, genders, nationalities. He taught grace, forgiveness, and loving one’s enemies. And when He was crucified for it, He died saying “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.” May you experience His amazing grace, peace, and joy, today and always.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. So do I. You may have noticed that at the center of His teaching is His identity as the Son of God – “the Way, the Truth, and the Life.” This is certainly something to take into consideration, especially since He proved Himself by rising from the dead. I’m so glad that when He died for all of us, that wasn’t the end of it, and for those of us who believe in Him, death isn’t the end for us, either. “God is love,” and love triumphs!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Beautifully written. My only query is, if one has understood that there is one and only one God, then why to convert to any religion? God can be achieved even without the support of any religion. Thanks and regards.


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