I thought a sweet and soft-spoken person is always very nice and kind but I am wrong. My stringer was not anybody else. It was my so-called sister. She was nice to me which made me think that she is the best person on the earth. I never judge people just by their looks. In my profession, I had dealt with many people on a daily basis. I had met many people with different personalities and behavior. My weakness is always a family. He is my weakness. I love and care about everything which belongs to him. I was never jealous of anybody. I treat everyone nicely. I am a very blunt person so I say everything on people’s faces whatever comes in my mind. My co-worker often said, “you speak with your mind”.
I believed someone because of my personality and weakness. My so-called sister is a highly educated woman who is also a banker. She did not hesitate using me like a puppet. She did not care how much I was hurting. She did not care how much I was fragile. My sister used my weakness. I let her do it. I was on a mission to protect my weaknesses. I did not know the people who I trusted, were actually playing the game of politics with me.
I was afraid to lose so I rather become her puppet. I was in another part of the world and I did not have any clue what was happening on the other side. It came to my acknowledgment later but it was already too late. The damage was already done.
The only family member knows how much we have and what is the source of our income. I had become a puppet because I wanted to keep him away from the prison. I was trapped. What was important his freedom or keeping my relationship with him. I was trapped and threatened. My weaknesses had made me do the things that my stringer ordered me to do it. In the end, everyone got something. He hates me. His desire or wishes had been already completed so why he would care. My so-called sister got whatever she wished to have it. I also got something in this family politics: the pain. Now I don’t have the desire to have a family. I don’t believe in the relationship. I don’t believe in the family anymore. There is no love or relationship. All dirty game of family and politics.
Sometimes it makes me laugh. I did try reaching out to many people and attempted to explain but everyone just judged me. Why we salute him if could not help him. What type of love is this who blackmail others? They have sold their soul already and they had attempted to sell mine. I will rather kill than sell my soul. My stringer did not know that I can’t hide the truth and it comes out automatically.
Now, I have nothing to lose or nothing to gain. My fear is gone. I have become careless. I have become fearless. Often I used to get scared, “what I would do if something happens to him”. now nothing has left to lose. The burden on my brain has lighted with expressing the truth today. Many people already knew since my stringer started to used me like a puppet. However, I could not connect the dots to how a journalist of JKP already knew everything. Everything was still contained but how the journalist knew everything. I refused to give him information. Yes, the journalist was not fake. He still works for JKP. The next day, my sister had started to use me like a puppet.
In my native country, everything is on sale. Money could buy everything. I used to hear it but then I saw the reality. I am lucky being living abroad and I am lucky not having a family or friends anymore. No, I don’t need anything. Keep your money, keep your love, keep your family. I rather continue to cry the rest of life than making my mansion on somebody’s grave.