She was not born. She is created by her loved ones. Originally, she was born in the countryside as a little innocent girl who loved talking and playing. She used to cry and talk at the same time which nobody understood why. She did have her own little dictionary of words because it was hard for her to pronounce certain words. Her childhood was very happy. At a very young age, she moved to the western part of the world.
She did live in a hell zone for 7 to 8 years. Living in hell, she had become very strong and independent. She had become a victim to a survivor. She became so strong because there was hope, desire, dream, and she was waiting for somebody. Then in 2008, the darkness had knocked at her door. The darkness had taken her to the Valley again. There was something in the valley which continued to pulled her toward the green and beautiful land. Life went great and happy again for a while. Then devils and demons entered into her life. The lies won and truth was lost. Love died. Puppet lost and stringer won.
The innocent woman who believed in love was brutally killed in daylight. Her humanity and honesty were challenged. The man she loves and trusts had failed to protect her. She could not protect herself. There was nobody to protect her. The psychological traumatic injuries were less than injuries of the past which have taken a toll on her health. Sara was born instead of her. She fought every single day and her battle is to continue. She lives by the minutes.
People said the time heal the wounds but it was not in her case. Her wounds are still open but she won’t let anybody see it. Her tears still well into her eyes but she won’t let them shed out of her eyes. She is not anybody’s puppet anymore. His family told her there is already many Sara in his life so there is no need of her. So why he had created another Sara? She doesn’t want to know anymore either.
This time she could not win against the lies and family politics. She lost the love of her life. It does not matter of just love. It is the matter of her soul, trust, pride, desires, hopes, and dreams. He was the peace and satisfaction of her mind. He was her her soul and pride. Her life was taken away. How she could survive again without her life.
She has adopted the life of a nomad. She calls herself, a modern nomad. She drives from one place to another place. She drives because she can’t walk or stand for a long time. She continues to love animals, birds, and nature even she went away from the human. She tells, “not every human is bad. I am so scared to contact with anybody”.
She has left her children, pride, and profession everything behind. She lives on her savings, “money is not important for me. My relationship was important for me”.
Her memory is very poor so is her vision. She still can hear but she refuses to listen. Nothing hurts her anymore. She says, “my pain is mine only and my tears belong to me only but my heart belongs to only one person”.
She is happy and her smile is back but the story is different and deep. Something is different. She often says, “I don’t want to talk about him anymore. I don’t want to think about him”. In reality, she talks to him only. She still wakes up screaming. The nightmares are continued. Sometimes she wakes up jumping out of bed. “I feel it that I wake up jumping more than a foot”.
She still sees him. It is all PTSD. The number of her medications is bigger than her meal. The countryside woman was killed and it was also the death of a devoted mother and hardcore professional. Sara is a creation so she cannot tell you about herself a lot. She only might present the personality and habits of her creator. She has come back on the blog to write about her feelings. This was the only place where nobody has judged her. “Read it or not. Like it or not. At least I could express my feelings. I am not expressing to convince someone”.