She was not born. Her loved ones created her. Originally, she was born in the countryside as an innocent little girl who loved talking and playing. She used to cry and talk at the same time, which nobody understood why. She did have her little dictionary of words because it was hard for her to pronounce certain words. Her childhood was very happy. At a very young age, she moved to the western part of the world.
She did live in a hell zone for 7 to 8 years. Living in hell, she had become very strong and independent. She had become a victim to a survivor. She became so strong because there was hope, desire, dream, and waiting for somebody. Then in 2008, darkness knocked on her door. The darkness had taken her to the Valley again. There was something in the Valley which continued to pull her toward the green and beautiful land. Life went great, and she was happy again for a while. Then devils and demons entered her life. The lies won, and the truth was lost. Love died. The Puppets lost, and Stringer won.
An innocent woman who believed in love was brutally killed in daylight. Her humanity and honesty were challenged. The man she loves and trusts had failed to protect her. She could not protect herself. There was nobody to protect her. This has given more traumatic psychological injuries than injuries of the past, which took a toll on her health. She fought every single day, and her battle is to continue. Now, she lives by the minute.
People said the time heal the wounds, but it was not in her case. Her wounds are still open, but she won’t let anybody see them. Her tears still well into her eyes, but she won’t let them shed out of her eyes. She is not anybody’s puppet anymore. His family told her there are already many Saras in his life, so there is no need for her. So why had he created another Sara? She doesn’t want to know anymore either.
This time she could not win against the lies and family politics. She lost the love of her life. It does not matter, just love. It is the matter of her soul, trust, pride, desires, hopes, and dreams. He was the peace and satisfaction of her mind. He was her soul and pride. Her life was taken away how she could survive again without her life.
She has adopted the life of a nomad. She calls herself “a modern nomad.” She drives from one place to another place. She drives because she can’t walk or stand for a long time. She continues to love animals, birds, and nature even though she went away from humans. She says, “Not every human is bad. I am so scared to contact anybody”.
She has left her children, pride, and profession behind. She lives on her savings, “money is not important for me. My relationship was important to me”.
Her memory is very poor, and so is her vision. She can still hear, but she refuses to listen. Nothing hurts her anymore. She says, “my pain is mine only, and my tears belong to me only, but my heart belongs to only one person.”
She is happy, and her smile is back, but she is different person. Something is different. She often says, “I don’t want to talk about him anymore. I don’t want to think about him”. In reality, she only talks to him. She still wakes up screaming. The nightmares continue. Sometimes she wakes up jumping out of bed. “I feel it that I wake up jumping more than a foot.”
She still sees him. It’s all PTSD. The quantity of her medications is bigger than her meal. The countryside woman was killed, and it was also the death of a devoted mother and hardcore professional. Sara is a creation, so she cannot tell you a lot about herself. She only reflects the personality and habits of her creator. She has come back on the blog to write about her feelings. This was the only place where nobody has judged her. “Read it or not. Like it or not. At least I could express my feelings. I am not expressing myself to convince someone”.